Chapter One

“I wish we could stay here like this, forever.”
His arms tightened around her and she could feel his warm breath in her hair.
“Me too,” he whispered. “Let’s not get up just yet.”
She snuggled deeper into his embrace, and breathed in his familiar scent, and felt his steady heart beat at her back. They fit together perfectly, and had always fit, from the moment they’d met.
She remembered every moment of their very first date. The way he told her stories of his adventures, trying to impress her. But she was just mesmerised by his smile, by the way he nervously tapped his foot under the table, and by the way he said her name.
“What are you thinking?” he asked softly.
She smiled, he always could read her mind. “I was thinking of our first date. Of how I loved you from that very first moment.”
“Oh,” he said. “That’s not how I remember it. I remember falling for you from the moment I saw you smile, but as I recall, you took a few hours?”
She giggled. “Okay, okay, maybe it wasn’t from the very first moment. But I knew that you were going to change my life from that first moment.”
He sighed. “I wish I had changed it for the better.”
She turned in his arms to face him, and lifted a hand to stroke his cheek. “You did,” she insisted softly. “My life was and is so much better for knowing you.”
He smiled and kissed her, and she closed her eyes to savour the feeling of his lips on hers. He pulled back slightly.
“I’ll be right back,” he whispered.
Before she could open her eyes, he was gone. She stared the empty side of the bed, and reached out to touch his cold pillow.
“Hurry back,” she whispered.

* * *

The insistent beeping of the alarm clock made Rebecca groan. Why hadn’t she remembered to switch it off? She didn’t need to be up so early today, in fact, she had planned on not leaving her bed at all.
She switched off the alarm, then turned over and reached out to touch the empty side of the bed. Despite hoping desperately, he had not returned for the rest of the night. She closed her eyes to remember the feeling of his arms wrapped around her, his scent enveloping her, but the memory was already fading away.
A tear escaped from her eye and soaked into his pillow. She would have given anything, she would have sold her soul, just to have him come in through the door in that very moment, with a tray of tea and toast, wishing her happy birthday with a bunch of fresh flowers from the garden, because he had forgotten to plan ahead and buy anything. She always forgave him for forgetting though.
Birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, all had passed by without much fanfare, as he was never one to celebrate much. But it didn’t matter as long as he was there with a cheeky grin, a warm hug, and a long kiss. She could never stay mad at him.
Just as she couldn’t feel mad at him for not being there now.
The sunlight flickered around the edge of the blackout curtains, reminding her that the world still existed outside, and that perhaps she should go out and join it, or at least open the curtains and let it in, but she rarely did that anymore. The darkness suited her better, demanded less of her, allowed her to wallow in her sadness.
Limbs protesting, her head aching, her tired brain wishing that she had not drunk the entire bottle of wine the previous night, Rebecca got out of bed and stumbled to her wardrobe. Instead of opening her side, she gravitated towards his, and opened the door, wishing that she had been less on top of the laundry, that there were still items that carried his scent, that she could wear or wrap around herself like a protective cloak, keeping the rest of the world away forever.
Only a few pieces of clothing remained, hung neatly on hangers. She touched the sleeve of his favourite flannel shirt, and lifted it to her nose, inhaling deeply. Disappointment swirled in her stomach as she smelled the scent of their washing powder. Tears filled her eyes and she tried to remember his scent from her dream, or from her memories, but though she could remember how it made her feel, she couldn’t remember the exact scent itself.
Sighing, she closed his wardrobe and took the dressing gown from her own, wrapping it around her thin frame, before slipping her feet into her favourite slippers and going out to the small kitchen.
She ignored her phone on the counter, knowing that there would be dozens of messages from friends and family, wishing her a happy birthday. Though she appreciated them, it wasn’t them she wanted to hear from, that she needed to hear from.
She filled the coffee machine and switched it on, then put two slices of slightly stale bread into the toaster. It wasn’t quite the breakfast in bed she had wished for, but it would be something close. All that was missing was the flowers from the garden, and the cheeky smile.
Still ignoring her phone, Rebecca took her tea and toast and sat at the breakfast bar, and opened her laptop. Before she could convince herself that it was a bad idea, she found the icon on the desktop and double clicked.
A blue screen popped up, and she hit the green button. A few seconds later, his face filled the screen. Her heart nearly stopped as he looked directly at her and smiled.
“Good morning, my love.”

This is the first chapter in a brand new story that I am posting here on my blog as I write it. It is not finished, it is not edited, and I don’t know if it will be a book, but I wanted to try something new with my writing, so if you have enjoyed this chapter or are intrigued enough to want to read on, please do email me or comment!