So last year, (how was it that long ago?!) I started blogging again, determined to get back into writing posts regularly, and strengthening my writing muscles while connecting with you, my readers.

But somehow, it’s been nearly a year since my last post. What the actual?

To be fair, it’s been very busy, I have published several more books for clients, become a step-grandma, moved my print studio and opened a shop, and published book 3 in my children’s series, The Magical Dragon Mirror.

So it’s not like I’ve been particularly lazy, but goodness, I wish I could stick to the things I’ve decided to do!

But I have also filled my time with random shit that I didn’t need to be doing, like scrolling insta, watching reels, and zoning out in front of Netflix/prime/disney. I once had an app on my phone that calculated how much time I spent on apps. I worked out that in one month, I wasted the equivelant amount of time that I could have written 150k words.

My whole life, I have thought that I was just a bit crap with making good habits, with sticking with things (I’m most definitely a quitter) and then, thanks to my hours and hours of scrolling, I started to realise that actually, the likelihood is that I have ADHD.

Now I’m not a label fan, and I’m not rushing to get an official diagnosis (nothing against it, just not something that would help or benefit me personally) but the realisation and the understanding of the underlying reasons for certain behaviours has helped me immensely. Mainly with just being a bit kinder to myself. I’ve also stepped up my supplement game and found that I’m not quite so exhausted, and I can recognise the approaching burnout and rest before I get ill.

I have gone through periods of anger and mourning. Anger that no one ever saw it, including me. Yet when I say it to people I know, their response is ‘well of course!’ And mourning for all the lost potential, and for the support that I could have had, that might have meant my finances weren’t such an atrocious mess for so long.

But then, the flip side is that not knowing meant that I pushed myself harder to do the things I found so difficult. I set deadlines and wrote whole novels. I completed projects after the initial dopamine hit wore off. I pushed through the tiredness and exhaustion. So, in essence, I got things done that many with ADHD cannot.

Because I assumed I was a regular human with a terrible memory and little sticking power, so I had to override these things. Now there’s a reason for it, I do find myself not pushing so hard, so of course, things don’t get done.

I’m still learning so much about myself, still learning the ways that work for me, how to best take care of myself, and how to not annoy the people around me. But I know that the label won’t do anything for me other than help my understanding of how I approach life, and how I interact with the world.

So I’m not going to promise to write this thing regularly, because I hate breaking promises, even though I seem to do it a lot.

And I’m not going to say that book 11 is coming soon, or the six other books I want to write. To be honest, I’m just doing my very best to keep creating an income, keep surviving, and not burn out. So, really, any content I create is a bonus, because honestly? Writing has not been a lucrative thing for me. I don’t make my living from it. In fact, it’s probably cost me more than it has made.

Of course, that’s because I suck at marketing and find it completely impossible to do anything consistently, which I think I’ve demonstrated with this blog!

So if you want to read more of what I write, please buy my books, if you already own them, buy them as gifts! Or you can just chuck me a few quid to paypal.me/theamethystangel

Or if you live near Hereford, pop to my new shop and buy some cards. Would love to see you! My insta is @wishyouwerehere.store

So that was a bit of a rambling info dump, but hey, welcome back to my blog! There may or may not be another new post soon.