What do you really want?

I hope you have had a happy and fun festive season, and have been with friends and loved ones, eaten good food and been treated to some new things. Maybe you’re starting to look to the New Year, and beyond what you’ve got planned for New Years’ Eve, and are wondering what 2018 will bring.

I can tell you exactly what it will bring. And no, not because I have a crystal ball. (Although, I do have one!)

2018 will bring you exactly what you ask of it. But first, you need to ask.

And to ask, you need to actually know what you want. This time last year, there were many things I wrote down that I wanted to achieve, receive and experience. And I have to say, most have happened. Even the most improbable ones. You might just read this and write it of as Law of Attraction nonsense. But I’m not talking about just making a request and then sitting back and waiting for it to land in your lap. I’m talking about getting really clear on what it is you want, so that not only can you be clear in your requests to the Universe and to others, but you will also know what you are moving towards. You will be able to take action that will get you closer to where you wish to be.

Some things may happen with little work or input from you, and other things will require you put in the time, energy and money to make them happen. But knowing exactly what it is you are working towards is the most important step.

So I will ask again, what do you really want? What is your unicorn? If you feel your goals are huge, and others might not understand them, be sure to keep them just for yourself. After all, nobody needs to know where you are going or what you are creating but you. When you know your desires – write them down. Find images of them. Make a video or yourself talking about them. Do something that shows your commitment to making them happen.

One of my unicorns in 2018 is to get back to blogging more regularly. I fell out of the habit in 2017, and I have missed it. To be able write these posts is a joy of mine, and I plan to bring as much joy into my life in the New Year as possible. So as well as figuring out what you really want, please do let me know if there are any particular posts you would like to see from me too. My plan is to write two blog posts a month, more, if the inspiration begins to flow as it has before. Thank you for reading my blog and supporting it, I really appreciate you, as you are why I continue to do it!

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

Time to Feel

When we go through painful situations, we often will do anything not to feel the pain. Not to experience the hurt. Not to feel the embarrassment, sadness, grief, anger etc. So we block it out. With alcohol, or Facebook, or books or movies or actually running away to somewhere else.

When we desperately want something or someone who we know is toxic for us, whether it’s a person or a cigarette, we find that we don’t have the will power to stop ourselves from picking up the phone or the lighter, because we can’t bear to feel what we are feeling. We can’t bear to crave something. We can’t bear to miss someone. We can’t bear the longing and the heartbreak and the desperation.

But what if we just felt it? What if we just dove into those feelings and really allowed them to be? Perhaps we would break the addiction. Break the cycle. And release the feelings.

It’s hard to do that when we have spent so many years avoiding it. But it’s time. Time to stop running away from our feelings and running towards the drama; instead go deeply into the feelings and feel them, acknowledge them, accept them.

Once you have done that, you can move on. You will no longer be running away. You will be moving toward your joy. Toward things that are healthy. Towards your dreams.

Of course, I’m not saying to stop using Facebook, or watching movies or reading books. But I am saying that when you do those things, do them because you enjoy them. Not because you’re using them to escape your feelings.

You might find that the feelings you’ve been avoiding really aren’t the monsters you’ve made them out to be.

Sending you love, you are strong. You are beautiful. You can create a life that you don’t need to escape from. I believe in you.

the other side

Vivid Dreaming

I’m no stranger to vivid dreams. I have woken up deafened from the noise of the tornado that’s just gone past me, woken up breathing heavily in fear of being chased or attacked. I’ve often had prophetic dreams too. Sometimes I have foreseen things in a literal way, other times, in a metaphorical way.

But what happened last week really did spook me a little bit!

I woke up on Thursday morning, and found that I was crying, because I had just been sobbing in my dream. In the dream, I had rescued a wolf from a river, as it had choked on the water and started to drown. I had pulled it out and rescued it, then I picked it up and cradled it in my arms like a child. Then I took it home but found that it kept wanting to eat things it could choke on, and by the end of the dream, it had in fact choked to death, which is why I woke up crying.

Now, if you’re into dream interpretation, then please, by all means, let me know what you think any of that meant!

So later on Thursday, I headed to the Brighton Film Networking meeting, and got chatting to Lorenzo Fantini, and artist and founder of Screen Rebels in London. For some reason we were talking about dreams, and I described my dream to him. He then showed me some photos of his artwork, and one of the images was so eerily like my dream, that it quite honestly freaked me out a little. The only difference was the creature was a fox, not a wolf, but he has very kindly let me share the image with you. Here it is:

fox. lorenzo


Then on Saturday morning, I had a dream where a lion was watching me, and when I picked out a random tarot card later in the day, it had a lion on the card, sitting on the side, just observing the scene.

I’m just praying that the red and blue, whale-sized baboon fish don’t turn up when I go to the beach tomorrow…

Adventures with Astrid – December 2014

This is the first post of a series I will be posting on a monthly basis. In the last week or two, I have had some major life realisations, thanks to a bunch of seemingly unconnected and random things, all mixing in my mind to create an AHA! moment. As a result of these realisations, I have made some decisions on how to move forwards.

The main decision, is that I want to become more organised and start making long-term plans. I have always been good with setting short-term goals and completing them, but long-term ones just don’t happen. I never usually plan more than a month in advance, and hate it when I have to. But I am going to change this, by planning out my entire 2015, in January. Obviously, not every single day will be planned out, there will still be room for synchronicities and spontaneity, but I will book events, and plan where I am going to be, what projects I am doing and also put a financial plan into place. To do all of this, I have taken the first step, which is to purchase an organiser.

Now, most years, I get calendars and diaries, and by the end of January, I’ve stopped using them. So this time, I have had to get creative. I am putting everything into my organiser – my goals, dreams, to do lists, addresses, diary, notes – everything, so that I am more likely to keep it with me at all times. And to ensure that I bond with it, and don’t give up using it, I have even named it!

So let me introduce you to Astrid:


I bought extra inserts and of course, unicorn and rainbow 3D stickers, because let’s face it, planning doesn’t have to be boring!



A peak inside:



A few of my 2015 goals:



Now, I know that going from being a short-term planning procrastinator to a super productive long-term planner is not going to be simple and straightforward, and I will need to use a variety of techniques and get people to help me in my weakest areas, but I am writing this post, and I am sharing this with the world, because I am making a commitment to my future, to my success, and to living my life fully. And if I happen to find things that work for me, then I hope they may work for others too.

The major planning session is going to happen after Christmas, at the moment I am just gathering ideas and energy to implement these changes and to figure out what 2015 is going to feature.

So I hope you join me on my adventures with Astrid, it’s going to be an interesting ride!

(Oh and if you have any good tips, please do comment below and share! Thanks 🙂 )