positive thinking | Twin Flame Blog

I might have said too much in my post yesterday, but as I said, my ability to pretend has gone. Whether it’s because of hormones or just getting older, or just being so tired, I don’t know.

For a long time I have presented to the world a version of myself who is happy, successful, and has their shit together. But goodness that couldn’t be further than the truth. A friend asked me how my book sales were going, and I was honest – they’re terrible. I stopped marketing and posting six years ago, so of course my sales have tanked, and if I make £30 a month from the sales of all 23 books, it’s a good month.

She was surprised. She had assumed that my sales must be amazing. I don’t know what gave her that impression, maybe it was because I had just launched book 11 in my series, or was posting positive stuff.

I am a believer that it’s better to focus on the positive, to attract more positive, and I’m not a fan of the ‘poor me, please buy my book’ posts, that seem particularly prevalent on Threads at the moment. But by pretending I’m doing well and selling loads of books, I also cut off any possibility of people helping me by sharing my posts or recommending my books to others. Because honestly, who thinks to help a successful author? Clearly they don’t need it?

But I do need help, and I am terrible at asking for help, or accepting help when it is offered, though I am improving a bit on that front. I might initially resist, but often I can switch tack and accept the help. Because the thing is, I love helping others, and am always quick to offer my time or support, and I would be upset to think that someone is rejecting my help because they don’t believe they deserve it, or will feel weirdly indebted to me. I help others because it brings me joy, not because I expect anything in return, and I would hope anyone offering me help would feel the same way.

Why do we feel the need to ‘make it’ on our own? Or is that a neurodivergent thing? Clearly, any major success is the work of many people, a team with the same goal. For one single person on their own the big dreams or goals just aren’t possible.

My dreams? To sell millions of copies of my books. To have the adapted for TV and cinema. To create audiobooks. To make a living from my own creations.

But I can’t do it on my own. I need a team. I need support. So that’s something I am working on, because my stories deserve to be read, and heard, and seen.

If you have ideas, drop my a line. Or if you just simply want to share your dreams with me, I’d love to hear about them.

*One of my very first fairs. I had four books and three oracle decks. This was just 12 years ago. Sometimes I have to remind myself just how much I have managed to achieve so far!*
*(And that maybe it’s time to get a new tablecloth?)*

I am an avid reader of self-development books, of spiritual books, of positive thinking-hug a tree-be a unicorn type books. I love them. But a little revelation that has occurred to me numerous times over the years, which I tend to forget about and then rediscover, (and in fact, even mention in my book – The Elphite) is that for some reason, in general conversation, we mainly only talk about the things we lack, or complain about the bad things we have.

We learn that in order to manifest what we wish to have, experience or be, we need to affirm in a positive way that we have whatever it is we are lacking. And so we keep writing down, or affirming out loud – I am abundant! I am my perfect weight! I have a beautiful home! I am madly in love with my soulmate!

Yet often, these things don’t come to pass. Or they do, but long after we have stopped affirming them, and when we have forgotten our requests.

So why is this? When struggling with finances, I found that I talked about money a lot, in conversations with friends etc, and even though I was being positive about money quite often, it was a front, because I was still struggling. I did ‘abundance’ courses, read books, sought out new affirmations etc, but somewhere along the line something occurred to me – all of my focus on money was coming from a place of lack. And that genuinely wealthy and abundant people rarely speak of money – they are focused on their passions, on what they love in life. And if they do speak of money, they are not coming from a place of lack, but from a genuine place of abundance.

So how do you get to that space of genuine abundance when you’re lacking what you need or desire?

I’m finding that only talking about the areas of my life where I genuinely feel abundant is a good place to begin. Because then I am not speaking and feeling from a place of lack. And to relax, go with the flow.

I try to avoid small talk too. I feel that small talk keeps us small, because it make us connect to others through our complaining, griping and moaning. We share our stories of illnesses, woes and grief, because we know that others will relate to what we say.

It seems we don’t want to appear to be too happy, only speaking of what we love, in fear of looking to be better than/superior to/looking down on anyone else. (I’m talking from a British perspective here, things may be quite different in other parts of the world, I hope they are!)

But I feel that it’s only when we move beyond small talk that we can all grow and evolve and expand our thinking. Often, I will quite quickly get into a conversation about other worlds, angels, the afterlife and parallel universes, with complete strangers I’ve met minutes before, because it’s almost like we sense we can talk of these things, and neither will get ‘weirded out’. When I sense it’s not possible to bring up such subjects, I find myself lapsing into silence, in the hopes of not finding things to complain about in order to connect. But I do find it difficult!

Do you have any tried and tested ways to operate from that place of abundance? I would love to hear them if you have!