There are times when I feel like giving up. When I don’t see the point in writing another book, because as an Indie Author, it costs me money to publish, and as yet, I can honestly say I have not made that money back, and I am certainly not making a living from it. I have also wanted to give up on life. I know that depression and suicide is a hot topic at the moment, in light of recent events, and I know that some people really get it, really understand why some souls wish to leave this planet, and there are others who don’t get it at all.
I get it.
I have been there. When all seems lost, pointless, and hopeless. I haven’t been there just once, but several times. Throughout my life. I have never sought any help for these feelings, and I have never been on medication. Instead, I have my own form of therapy.
I weave my feelings, my despair, my heartbreak, my loneliness and my anguish into my stories. My characters do things that I wish I could, but can’t. Because when it comes right down to it, I know that I cannot leave yet. That I came here with a mission, and I have not completed it yet. Usually, when I have one of my moments of giving up writing, giving up publishing my books, I get a beautiful email, or message from a reader who tells me how much my words have helped them, and I am reminded of why I continue to do what I do.
Yesterday, I received an email that I know will prevent me from ever having one of these moments again. Because I plan on posting it on the wall as a daily reminder of why I write, and why I am here.
The email came from Janine, a beautiful lady I met last year who runs the Freedom Inside, Books for Prisoners program. I donated some copies of The Earth Angel Training Academy to the program, and when prisoners like the book, they write letters to Janine, and she passes them onto me. The one I received yesterday was from a prisoner who had decided he wanted to give up. That he’d had enough, and it was time to go. But he had a copy of my book in his room, which he said kept calling to him. And finally, he decided to delay his end in order to read it. I have posted some excerpts from his letter below.
To know that because of my words, one soul decided to stay on this planet, rather than leave, makes everything worth it. And I will be writing to him to let him know just how grateful I am, for his beautiful words too.