I know I have blogged about this before, but I think it’s something that I need to keep blogging about until I finally start listening to my own advice and get a clue.
So I’m sitting in Morrison’s Café right now, killing some time, and I figured I could have a hot chocolate and do a bit of writing while I wait. I bought the hot chocolate, and after sitting down, I took a few sips and found that it tasted, quite frankly, a bit gross. It was super sweet, and after drinking a few mouthfuls, I found I had the disgusting aftertaste of sweeteners in my mouth. I should have stopped drinking after the first couple of mouthfuls, because I knew it would not be good for me, as I haven’t had anything with sweeteners in for quite a few years now, but I stubbornly held to the fact that I wanted a hot chocolate to drink while I waited.
But halfway through drinking it, it got ridiculous. My stomach was now churning, and the aftertaste was really bitter and starting to bother me, to the point where I couldn’t concentrate on my writing. So I took what was left of it to the counter, and complained. She didn’t even question it, she just said they’d had a problem with their machine and she immediately gave me a refund. But sitting here now, with my stomach churning painfully, I just feel a little bit stupid for not listening to my intuition after the first couple of mouthfuls and stopping.
This may seem like a really trivial thing, after all, it’s just a cup of hot chocolate, but my stomach is so sensitive (I have a gluten intolerance, so I’m usually pretty careful) that I may well end up with stomach cramps and other unpleasant things to contend with all evening, all because I didn’t stop drinking, and complain sooner. I’m drinking water now, and am trying to get rid of the hideous taste in my mouth, but it’s not working so far.
It also led me to start thinking about how many people come into this café, and have a hot chocolate that is clearly choc-ful of sweeteners and other crap. Do other people not taste it? Have they become so desensitised to it that it’s just not noticeable? After all, there are artificial sweeteners in virtually everything. Not to mention that there is wheat in so many things too, even in things that have absolutely no need for it whatsoever.
But most of all, what this little outing has proven to me, is that I still don’t act on my intuition easily. That I will get a thought to do something (or not do something) but if it clashes with something I have decided I want, or with what others want, then I am likely to resist it. It has happened with bigger things. In 2012, I wanted to go to a Faerie Festival in Glastonbury. But on the way there, I kept getting the feeling (well at times it was more like a voice shouting at me) that I should turn around and go home, and not to go out for the day. But I ignored it. I wanted to go and I had a car full of people who wanted to go.
So off we went, and we had a great day in Glastonbury, though I was in a bit of a mood to start with because we had left so late in the day, and I was having to resist the voice yelling at me. We headed back around 7pm, and being March it was dark at this point. We were on a 50mph stretch of road, doing 45mph, when the car in front stopped dead in the road. Of course, I hit them, and the car behind me then hit me, sandwiching my car, writing it off. Hello, dead car, crazy insurance claims and months of painful whiplash.
All because I stubbornly held to what I wanted to do. Now, you may think that it was all just random, that none of those things had anything to do with each other, but that wasn’t the first car accident I’ve been in after ignoring my inner voice.
Every time I regret ignoring my intuition, I swear to myself that I won’t do it again, that I will listen and take action next time. But as I sit here in Morrison’s café, hoping that my stomach will play nice until I get home, I have to wonder when I will ever really learn.
Do you listen to your intuition? Even when it’s telling you something you don’t want to hear? Do you ignore your inner voice because it doesn’t fit in with what you want, or with what others around you want? Or do you follow your intuition every time? Let me know your thoughts in the comments 🙂