Goals Not Wishes

It’s my 31st Birthday today. And I’m not sure how I feel about that. I think of all the goals I have set over the last few years and there are so many that haven’t happened, it makes me wonder why I bother trying to set them.

Still in an attempt to set goals and make a plan for 2015, I’m writing down 100 things to do in 2015, and after writing down number three:

number 3

– I have a sudden moment of complete clarity.

I haven’t been setting goals. I’ve been making wishes.

Goals should be actionable, achievable, doable, tangible things that YOU can make happen. That are in YOUR control to create. Not things that are mostly up to other people to make happen.

To clarify, this is a goal:

I will write a book in 30 days.

This is a wish:

I will sell 1000 books in a month.

Because writing a book in 30 days is completely within your realm. You can do it, it is completely possible. Selling 1000 books however, depends on a thousand people discovering your book, then making the decision to buy it. You can do all the marketing possible, you can definitely do your best to make your book visible and get it into people’s hands, but ultimately, the number of copies sold is not up to you. It is merely the by-product of you achieving the goals you set for your marketing.

So I’m realising now, that almost every goal I have failed to reach, was one that was out of my hands. And many goals that were up to me, did happen. So all this time I have been beating myself up for failing over and over is ridiculous. Because I was setting myself up to fail by setting goals that weren’t really up to me.

Now, this is not to say that we shouldn’t have intentions, desires, wishes, etc., but I am going to promise myself now, that I will never mistake a wish for a goal again. That my goals will be actionable, achievable and doable by me.

Because every time I set a goal that is really a wish, and I don’t achieve it, I am dis-empowering myself. I am making myself feel useless. And I no longer wish to live that way. I am going to focus on the things that I know I can make happen, and then appreciate and celebrate the results, no matter what they are.

I do feel that many people have tried to get these concepts through to me before, and they just haven’t sunk in. But like anything that really gets under your skin and makes total sense, it’s got to come from within. So if you’re reading this and just thinking that I’m some crazy woman who’s afraid of reaching 31 having not fulfilled her goals, so she’s making a bunch of excuses for it, that’s cool. But if this post is resonating with you in any way, go within and ask if that’s true for you too.

Now I think I need to go out and buy some new slippers.DSCN2263

12 comments on “Goals Not Wishes

  1. Such a good point!
    Using a job interview as example 😉 —
    I really want this job! Please let them hire me! — wish
    I’m going to give a fantastic presentation, be myself and let my personality shine, and meet some new people today at the interview — goal

    Happy Birthday! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Love your realisation and the cake 🙂 Without the goal, the journey or the achievement of flow isn’t possible. This is an achievement or more of one in itself, that you have found and express your passions all over the world. So for this I think you deserve a massive congratulations for your achievements already and extra celebrations for your birthday too. Happy Birthday 🙂 x

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Happy Birthday Michelle, if I can be so bold as to tell you that your change in attitude towards goals will have a direct impact on your behaviour towards achieving those goals, and because you now have clarity with regard to your goals, other people will understand what you are looking for and you will be surprised at the offers of help that come your way, go get em Michelle

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Mike, I’m sure that things will shift and things will become clearer! I feel lighter anyway, I know now how to set goals that will happen, and the more that happen, the easier it is for bigger goals to happen, as I’m sure there’ll be a snowballing effect!


  4. So much wisdom at such a tender age. And no sarcasm there at all. I think back to the kind of person I was in my 30’s and the realizations you have made are nothing short of stunning.

    Have a wonderful birthday today.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Michael, I’ve always been a bit of an old soul – so I guess in a lot of ways I’m not a typical 30-something person. But I am having more and more realisations about myself and my life at the moment, I share them in case they help other people in the same space 🙂

      I did have a lovely birthday, thank you 🙂


  5. Happy (slightly belated) birthday. I hope you had a good one.

    You make a good point. There are some things that are beyond our control, a lot of things in life are. So we can’t blame ourselves when they don’t happen. As long as we know we’ve played our parts, done our best, then that’s all we can ask of ourselves. As for the rest – what will be will be.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you 🙂 My birthday continued today with a photoshoot to take some new author photos, to be revealed soon!

      There are many things beyond our control, and you’re right , there’s no point in blaming ourselves when things don’t go the way we hope for, and there’s also no point in setting ourselves up for disappointment or failure.

      What will be will indeed be 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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