Can you really have it all?

There are a lot of articles and videos about the concept of ‘having it all’. The idea is aimed at women, and it’s said that women can now have the career, the relationship, the family, the home etc, etc. They don’t have to choose between one of the other – they can have all of it, all at once. Of course, ‘all’ will be different to each woman, some don’t want children, some don’t want a relationship, and I think the main idea is that women can now choose, instead of having to get married and have children as a matter of course.

But recently I have recognised a pattern in myself (which I am currently working on) that when lots of things are going well in my life, and I reach for the final puzzle piece in order to ‘have it all’ something goes wrong.

One of the other perfectly good pieces suddenly falls apart, and diverts my attention from the final piece, and often distracts me enough to stop reaching for it. And it made me wonder  – are we programmed to choose either/or? Do we actually believe it’s possible to have a good balance between home/love/money/career/family?

Because it’s all very well to say we can have it all, but if we don’t believe it, then it will never happen. So do you believe you can have it all? And do you know what your ‘all’ looks like?

Something to ponder on this Monday morning!

I do love this movie. But it illustrates exactly my point – when she tries to have a high-powered career and also care for a child as a single parent, it seems impossible to ‘have it all’.

Where Do Our Ambitions Come From?

This post wasn’t on my list to write, but I just had a realisation about twenty minutes ago, which I needed to write about.

Do you know where your ambitions came from? Do you know why you wanted to do the work you do? Have the relationships you have? Why you love some things and hate others? Most people would say that our conditioning and programming comes mostly from our family and from teachers and friends who are around us when we’re growing up. That’s why we end up dating replicas of our parents, because it’s what we know.

Well I just realised that my desire to have my own business, and my love of stationery and packing up goods into boxes and sending them out, came from a movie.

Yes, that’s right. A movie. And they say that media doesn’t have that much impact on us? The movie was my favourite, I have no idea how many times I watched it, but I know it was many times. It was called Baby Boom. It was about a high-powered business woman who ends up with a baby girl after her cousin dies, and who ends up leaving her job in New York and moving to Vermont, where she ends up starting her own baby food business.

Baby-Boom-Movie-Poster-1987Thinking about it, that may have been the beginning of my love of New York and New England too…

Anyway, my favourite parts of the movie were when her business is taking off and she is sending out jars of the baby food in brown boxes with the custom Country Baby label on them. I remember being fascinated by the idea of running a business, and I remember wanting to do that myself.

Now of course, I may have still wanted to do that, whether I had watched that movie or not, but it makes you wonder if it wasn’t that movie that planted the seed in my mind.

Was my interest in aliens and ghosts started by watching Ghostbusters, Beetlejuice, ET and Ghost? Was my love of fantasy and sci-fi started by watching the Goonies, the Neverending Story, Hook or Back to the Future? Was it all the many movies I watched set in America that created my love of the US and created my desire to visit there and even live there?

I have no way of knowing the answers to those questions, but it does make you wonder how much of our lives are shaped by the media that we consume at a young age, and it makes me wonder how kids now will turn out in years to come, with the sheer volume of media they are exposed to. A few 80s and 90s movies are nothing compared to the movies, TV shows, games and YouTube videos that are available to watch now.

Just something to ponder, I didn’t have any conclusion to make from this realisation, I just wanted to share it! And if you’re wondering why I suddenly has this realisation, it’s because Baby Boom is currently on Netflix!