Nothing Matters

I ran out of room in my inbox yesterday, and my clients’ emails were bouncing. So I began the mammoth task of deleting some of the eight thousand unread emails.

Several hundred deletes later, and I’d only freed up 2%. So I thought I’d tackle my sent box. I started from the oldest emails, which went back to 2008. But of course, curiosity got the better of me when I spotted one I sent to a friend titled ‘My Life’s Purpose’ so of course I had to open it! And I found the text below:

“I had been writing in my journal that I needed to know why I am here, in this time in this life. And I have to admit, I always assumed that I would find out my life’s purpose through someone else, I don’t know why. I also assumed it was something that was already set, not something we had much say in. Anyway, I read this book, Bringers of Light by Neale donald walsh (convo with god guy) and one of the things he says is: “Life in pointless, and that is Gods greatest gift” AT first the idea depressed me, if there’s no point to life, why bother with anything? But he goes on to explain that we are not assigned a purpose, we may choose one before we get here, that we’ve forgotten about, but ultimately, we CHOOSE. Which means that the only purpose we have in life is the one we choose. So it wasn’t a matter of me finding my life’s purpose, it was a matter of me CHOOSING my life’s purpose. Then of course I was thinking, oh crap, I’m useless at making big decisions! Then the other day, I was sitting outside, crocheting, and I was having conversations in my head as per usual, and in answer to the imaginary questions of what are you going to do in the future, the reply that came to me was: I am not here to drink and party, I am not here to settle down, have kids and a career, I am not here to do what would seem to be the normal thing to do. I am here for you. You are my life’s purpose, you and every other person I encounter along the way. Something i do or say to you might mean something to you, or trigger something in you that changes your life in some way. That is why I am here. And so I figure that if my life’s purpose is in every person that I meet on a daily basis, I am fulfilling my life’s purpose every single day. No matter what I do. And this, I think, is the most amazing part to me. It doesn’t matter what I do in the future, what matters is every person that I come across. I was halfway there in my thinking that I would be happy to live the rest of my life traveling from place to place, meeting new people, bringing people together and imparting whatever thoughts or wisdom I can. This is my life’s purpose. If I do all the ‘normal’ things people do, and settle down and get sucked into the illusion of every day life – work, sleep, tv, eat etc, then I wont be fulfilling my life’s purpose.”

My 24 year old self had some interesting revelations! I shared this on instagram with the photo I found in another 2008 email, this time to my mum, a selfie to show her my new haircut. I was living in New York at the time, so we emailed a lot!

2008 me

I got a few comments on the post, mostly that people resonated with the message. I guess the reason I’m sharing it here, is because this evening I watched perhaps the strangest movie I’ve ever seen – Everything Everywhere All At Once. And the message in that? Nothing Matters. Do what you want to do. Which is what Neale was saying in his book that I read in 2008.

Nothing matters. In the best way possible. The only meaning things have are the meanings we give them. You make things matter. So what matters to you? What do you choose to give meaning?

It really is up to you.

Goddess Warrior – Kellie Fitzgerald


To complement my Spirit Warrior series on men shifting from the physical to the meta-physical, this Goddess Warrior series will focus on women who are living their spiritual message and journey, who are speaking their truth and are fully in their feminine power, while they make a difference with their words and actions.

The first Goddess Warrior I would love to introduce you to is Kellie Fitzgerald. She is a positive transformation catalyst and radio host of the Positive Transformation Network.

Untitled-design-3MG: Kellie, can you tell us a little about what you do?

Goddess Warrior:  In short, I turn survivors into thrivers!  Through my internet radio channel, publishing company and numerous workshops, I help others share their messages.

MG: When did your spiritual journey begin?

Goddess Warrior: As a child I could see and communicate with spirit.  I sort of “turned it off” at times during my life but it’s always been there.  I’ve had a couple of what I call “dark night of the soul” times and emerging from each of those times made me wake up more and more.

MG: What do you feel is your mission or purpose or calling is in this life?

Goddess Warrior:  To give a voice to the voiceless.  Whether that is animal rescue, victims of abuse or domestic violence or people who are having a spiritual awakening and are feeling lost.

MG: Have you always know that was your mission or purpose or calling? Or did you discover it at some point?

Goddess Warrior: Honestly I think I always “knew” but actively fought that knowledge for most of my life.

MG: What does it mean to you to be in your divine feminine power?

Goddess Warrior:  Completely loving and accepting myself as I am.  Knowing I am on my path and completely loving and accepting that as well.

MG: What helps you get through the tough moments in life?

Goddess Warrior: Reiki and meditation…and my animals.

MG: What has been the best part of your spiritual journey? What has been the hardest part?

Goddess Warrior: Being able to help people navigate their own spiritual journeys is what really makes my heart sing!  The most difficult part is definitely having to let go of people who are no longer on the same path I’m on.

MG: What is your favourite spiritual practice?

Goddess Warrior: Oh wow, does Reiki count as a spiritual practice?  Other than that, meditation and Tai Chi.

MG: How do you juggle everything and still make time for yourself?

KellieHeadshot-273x300Goddess Warrior: I have learned to schedule time for myself on my calendar.  In the past I would have a really hectic day and allow work to cut into the “me time” I’d scheduled, but honestly I have developed such a respect for myself I don’t allow that to happen anymore.

MG: Are your friends and family supportive of your spiritual journey?

Goddess Warrior: Some are…some are not.  That really is the most difficult thing about embarking on a spiritual journey and becoming who you were always meant to be…letting go of those people who are not supportive.

MG: What advice would you give to women who are embarking on their spiritual journey?

Goddess Warrior: Baby steps!  This is a process, be kind and patient with yourself.  Find other people on a spiritual journey as they will be supportive of yours.  Honestly, once you make the decision to be the best “you” you can be, the right people do come into your life.

MG: Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful insights with me, and with my readers, there are so many golden pieces of advice there!


If you would like to check out what Kellie is doing her links are below. Thank you for reading, there will be another Goddess Warrior featured very soon.



Kellie’s book is When on the Road to Enlightenment, Don’t Forget to Take out the Trash and it’s available on Amazon.

Wise Words of Buddha

It’s been a quiet week on the blog front as I have been busy editing and also spring cleaning the house. I’ve also been working with the madly talented madappledesigns on the new covers for Heaven Dot Com, The Doorway to PAM and The Elphite, as well as the cover for my new novel, I’m Here.

The title of this post is referring to the quote on my calendar right now, which says -‘ Do not speak – unless it improves on silence.’ And I guess that’s why my blog posts are a little sporadic, because as a rule, I do not post unless I have something to say, that I think is worth saying, and worthy of my readers’ time.

Rocking with my firewalking buddies at last year's UPW.

Rocking with my firewalking buddies at last year’s UPW.

So why am I writing this post? Because at this very moment in time, a whole group of my favourite people are at Tony Robbins’ Unleash Your Power, in London. I attended the event last year, and it was amazing. I can honestly say that it changed my perspective on life completely, and made me realise that I could in fact live the life I wanted to live. Walking on fire was one of the scariest things I have ever done (even more so than breaking an arrow with my neck) and it made me feel like anything was possible. Since then I have been doing work I love, full time. I haven’t yet got everything sorted, but I know that I am so very lucky to live in such beautiful surroundings, to have an awesome partner and to be living my life’s purpose.

I have had times where I’ve wanted to give up. When it looked like things weren’t working out, or when the finances start to freak me out. And I would start thinking about what I should do instead. Perhaps I should go and get a job, it might be a boring 9-5, and I might only get minimum wage – but it would be a regular income! Surely that would be better? I’d get stuck in these ruts for sometimes days at a time, where I’d scour the job pages, send out CVs, etc etc. And do you know what? Usually I ended up giving up on that and going back to the task at hand – making a living as an author and a publisher.

It came to my awareness recently that I was never going to make Plan A work, if I was focusing on Plan B. If I truly believed in my Plan A of being a successful author, then I didn’t need a Plan B. Just having a Plan B makes Plan A destined to fail. I remembered these words from a talk that Brad Burton gave at a 4Networking meeting I attended, 18 months ago. He knew that his Plan A was going to work. Even when his family and friends thought he was crazy, even when he suffered setbacks and financial problems. He just knew. And he believed in it. I believe that it was his belief that made it work. His single-minded determination made his business successful. But it wasn’t an easy path for him, and I also believe that anything worth doing, anything worth creating, will require a decent amount of hard work, sweat and tears.

So I have thrown away all Plan B’s. There is no other path for me. My path is to do my writing and publishing, and anything related to it. Normal jobs are no longer on the agenda.

It doesn’t just apply to career, either. When you have a relationship back up plan, then your relationship is destined to fail. If all you can think of is what you will do, where you will go, or how you will cope when the relationship breaks down, then inevitably, it will indeed break down. You have to give 100% of yourself to the relationship you are in, and believe that it is ‘forever’. If you don’t want to do that, then it may be time to leave.

So what is your Plan A? What will it take for you to commit to it? Let me know in the comments 🙂

I hope that this post improved on the silence, if it didn’t, my apologies to you!

What is your life’s purpose?

Do you even have one?

Tonight in the Littledean Community Centre I will be doing a talk on the purpose of life, which will include wisdom from my favourite books, and also my recent experience at a retreat with Neale Donald Walsch in Oregon.

I used to think that my purpose was something that I had to discover, to find, because it was out there, somewhere. But through my spiritual journey I have come to realise that’s not the case at all.

Intrigued? Come along at 7pm tonight, you never know, something might strike a chord with you!

Check out the Exploring Alternatives group on facebook for more info.