Banish the Fear of Public Speaking

Up until 2012, I had a fear of public speaking. Not just a fear, but every time I got in front of a groups of people larger than four or five, I would go bright red, my knees would shake like crazy, my heart would hammer, and I would stutter over my words. If I didn’t have a script in front of me, or some kind of prompt, I wouldn’t remember what to say.

I had tried to get over the fear, but because it was a physical reaction, not just an emotional or mental one, I figured it was just part of who I was, and that I might never be free of it.

In 2005, during a short stint in Uni, I found myself in need of cash, and staring at a poster for a public speaking competition. The prize was £160. To enter you had to write and give a five-minute talk on any subject. I chose to talk about Geopathic Stress, because I had just come across the subject a few months before and I found it really interesting. I wrote a script and I rehearsed it.

On the day, I sat in the front of the lecture room, which wasn’t full, so there was probably only about 30 or 40 people there. I tried to keep calm but my heart was hammering away and my palms were sweating. Then the guy who did his talk before me, about dreams, decided to include me in his talk, by presenting me with a bunch of flowers. Cue bright red cheeks. When I finally got up there to speak, I had to grip onto the sides of the lectern because my knees were pure jelly. I stumbled through my talk, (getting my revenge on the dreaming flower man, by using him to demonstrate muscle-testing for Geopathic Stress lines) and was relieved when it was all over. We had to wait while the judges went out the back to deliberate, but by then, I didn’t really mind what the outcome was, I was just glad that I had done it. Even if it had been a bit embarrassing.

Amazingly, I won the competition. They liked the unusual topic, and I think it helped that none of them had even heard of it before, and so learnt something new. You’d think that winning the competition would be enough to get me over my fear.

Unfortunately, it did not have that effect. (Though the prize money was very useful)

So fast forward to 2012, when I attended a 4networking meeting. During the meeting, I had to stand up and do a 40 second pitch about my business. Cue bright red cheeks, jelly legs, stuttering and reliance on a script. Despite this, the guy running the meeting said if I joined the network, I should sign up to do a 4sight – which was a 10 to 15 minute talk on something interesting (not a business pitch). Gulp.

Determined to get my business off the ground, and to get over my fear once and for all, I did just that. I joined the network, and I signed up to do a 4sight. But no matter how many 40 second pitches I did, I still couldn’t eat my breakfast before I spoke, and I still couldn’t pick up my teacup for a few minutes afterwards because my hands would be shaking. I had no idea how I was going to speak for 15 minutes, and remain standing and not come out with gibberish.

Then, just days before my first 4sight, the Angels heard my pleas for help and sent me a video on youtube. It was an EFT video on how to get rid of your fear of public speaking. I followed the video, and then the next time I did a 40 second pitch, I noticed my hands and knees weren’t as shaky and I stumbled less over my words. I did the tapping routine a couple more times, then on the day of my first talk, after not enough sleep, thanks to a late night event the night before, I bounced into the meeting at 7.30am, ate a whole bar of chocolate, decorated the room with angel and faerie paraphernalia, got dressed in my faerie outfit complete with wings, stuffed down all my breakfast, then delivered a talk about Earth Angels that had the whole room in stitches. They laughed so much that I didn’t even have time to complete the talk. Afterwards, everyone wanted to know what I was on, because I had so much energy and enthusiasm.

Throughout the whole thing, the only physical symptom I had was a slight quiver in my knee.

I also did 4sights on Nanowrimo and Indie Publishing

I also did 4sights on Nanowrimo and Indie Publishing

Since my 4networking days, I haven’t done much public speaking, a couple of talks on Earth Angels, and a pitch to a film networking group, and though I still get a little nervous at times, I really quite enjoy it. Making the oracle card videos has also helped me to get used to speaking, even though my audience is just a camera.

If you have a fear or phobia, I would recommend trying out EFT, there are loads of videos on youtube. Here is the one that helped me:

[youtube http://youtu.be/dVFRI93lC5M]

 

Advertisements

Wise Words of Buddha

It’s been a quiet week on the blog front as I have been busy editing and also spring cleaning the house. I’ve also been working with the madly talented madappledesigns on the new covers for Heaven Dot Com, The Doorway to PAM and The Elphite, as well as the cover for my new novel, I’m Here.

The title of this post is referring to the quote on my calendar right now, which says -‘ Do not speak – unless it improves on silence.’ And I guess that’s why my blog posts are a little sporadic, because as a rule, I do not post unless I have something to say, that I think is worth saying, and worthy of my readers’ time.

Rocking with my firewalking buddies at last year's UPW.

Rocking with my firewalking buddies at last year’s UPW.

So why am I writing this post? Because at this very moment in time, a whole group of my favourite people are at Tony Robbins’ Unleash Your Power, in London. I attended the event last year, and it was amazing. I can honestly say that it changed my perspective on life completely, and made me realise that I could in fact live the life I wanted to live. Walking on fire was one of the scariest things I have ever done (even more so than breaking an arrow with my neck) and it made me feel like anything was possible. Since then I have been doing work I love, full time. I haven’t yet got everything sorted, but I know that I am so very lucky to live in such beautiful surroundings, to have an awesome partner and to be living my life’s purpose.

I have had times where I’ve wanted to give up. When it looked like things weren’t working out, or when the finances start to freak me out. And I would start thinking about what I should do instead. Perhaps I should go and get a job, it might be a boring 9-5, and I might only get minimum wage – but it would be a regular income! Surely that would be better? I’d get stuck in these ruts for sometimes days at a time, where I’d scour the job pages, send out CVs, etc etc. And do you know what? Usually I ended up giving up on that and going back to the task at hand – making a living as an author and a publisher.

It came to my awareness recently that I was never going to make Plan A work, if I was focusing on Plan B. If I truly believed in my Plan A of being a successful author, then I didn’t need a Plan B. Just having a Plan B makes Plan A destined to fail. I remembered these words from a talk that Brad Burton gave at a 4Networking meeting I attended, 18 months ago. He knew that his Plan A was going to work. Even when his family and friends thought he was crazy, even when he suffered setbacks and financial problems. He just knew. And he believed in it. I believe that it was his belief that made it work. His single-minded determination made his business successful. But it wasn’t an easy path for him, and I also believe that anything worth doing, anything worth creating, will require a decent amount of hard work, sweat and tears.

So I have thrown away all Plan B’s. There is no other path for me. My path is to do my writing and publishing, and anything related to it. Normal jobs are no longer on the agenda.

It doesn’t just apply to career, either. When you have a relationship back up plan, then your relationship is destined to fail. If all you can think of is what you will do, where you will go, or how you will cope when the relationship breaks down, then inevitably, it will indeed break down. You have to give 100% of yourself to the relationship you are in, and believe that it is ‘forever’. If you don’t want to do that, then it may be time to leave.

So what is your Plan A? What will it take for you to commit to it? Let me know in the comments 🙂

I hope that this post improved on the silence, if it didn’t, my apologies to you!

I surrender…

Okay, so I admit defeat, I will not win Nanowrimo 2012. I guess it was just too ambitious to try and do it alongside editing and formatting The Elphite, working, doing Mind Body Spirit Fairs and 4sighting at 4Networking meetings. Oh and being Marketing Assistant for Monmouth 4N too. And attending birthday party weekends. And – well, you get the point. I tried to do too much, and have just been too tired to focus on writing anything. Also, I hadn’t quite got the right format – but I’ve now figured out how the story should be written. So once my life has calmed down a little, I plan on resuming my writing.

The Elphite is done, (does a happy dance) and I am just waiting on approval before ordering the proof copy. Am crossing fingers that there’s enough time to order the launch copies!

I’ve actually begun to get a little organised on the Christmas present front, and I even have an outfit for the wedding I’ve been invited to on the 29th December.

I’ve had a bit of a chill out this weekend, and plan to chill again tomorrow, although I will get some things done too!

 

Quick update!

Having had such a busy weekend, my wordcount suffered considerably, and this morning I found myself 12,000 words behind…

I’ve managed about 2,000 today, and according to my trusty Nano stats, if I churn out just over 2,000 words every day for the rest of the month, I should just about make it!

I met some great people this weekend, at both fairs, and had some fantastic conversations about angels, Red Indian guides, what really happens when you die, and interplanetary relationships.

This week will be very busy too, with another Earth Angel 4Sight booked in tomorrow, work, and beginning my Reiki level 2!

I am also very much looking forward to the new Twilight movie on Friday. Can’t wait to see the new surprise ending!

I guess I should get back to my novel, unfortunately, it’s not going to write itself!

Gallery

The Faerie and the Mad Hatter!

This gallery contains 7 photos.

This week has been pretty busy! I really should be editing right now, but I just wanted to get these photos online! I’m down in South Wales, having 4sighted in Newport on Tuesday, and in Cardiff Bay on Wednesday. As … Continue reading