A Self-Development Gamble

I love self-development. I love the idea of people caring enough about themselves and their lives to read books, watch DVDs and attend seminars with the idea of finding their true purpose in this lifetime and becoming the best version of themselves that they can be.

What I’m not so keen on, is people who have realised that this upward trend could make them a lot of money. I haven’t attended lots of seminars, but I have been to a few, and it’s easy to tell which ones are hosted by people who genuinely wish to help you, and which ones are simply trying to make money out of you.

It occurred to me the other day, that there is a similarity between the latter types of workshops and seminars, and casinos. People go to casinos hoping to improve their lives by winning lots of money. They go in with a certain amount they want to spend, but then they get seduced by the promises of a bigger and bigger bounty, and so they start to spend more than they planned, thinking that the rewards will be bigger still. But despite the few jackpot winners – the success stories whose testimonials sold the course to the rest of the punters in the first place – most will leave either in the same place they were when they went in, or much, much worse off.

The worst part of it all, I feel, with a lot of seminars, is that they actually use NLP and hypnosis techniques and tricks to not only get you to part with more money than you planned to, but to also make you feel amazing for having ‘invested’ so much in yourself, whereas the ones who don’t ‘invest’ are made to feel like worthless losers who don’t care enough about themselves and loved ones.

Sound harsh? Maybe, but I have been to seminars where this is their exact wording. There are even apparently some workshops that take it a step further and put their participants into a trance in order to plant the suggestions that they need to upgrade to the next package. Much like the way that the bright lights, scantily clad women and clever advertising in casinos hypnotises the players to keep spending, and keep upping their stakes.

playing cards

Image from Shutterstock

Ultimately, the casino owners and the ones who hold the seminars and workshops – are the only ones who are guaranteed to make money. For those participating, it is literally a gamble, and it may well pay off, or you may find that you will have to return to the job that you hate and are desperate to leave, in order to pay off the debts created by promises of something better.

My advice? Go to the seminars, but be wary of being ‘upsold’ to. Leave your credit cards at home, and don’t make quick decisions about thousands of pounds, that will take months to repay. There may well be things you need to learn and hear from the hosts or organisers, but if they are pitching ‘special offers’ that run out at the end of the course, think before you commit – they are just trying to create a feeling of scarcity, to make you think that you will miss out if you don’t act quickly.

But ask yourself this – do you want to take a course from, or learn from, or work with, someone who operates from a place of scarcity? Of not enough? I know I don’t. I want to work with people who believe there is an abundance of everything for everyone. And who can help me to believe that too.

What are your thoughts?

 

Can You Change Your Fate?

Or I guess better question might be – Should you?

I believe that we should have the choice. That if we choose to go right instead of left, our choice is respected by the Universe, and we are free to make that decision.

But I have found that when I try to change my own fate, as has been laid out by readings I’ve had, visions of my own and what I feel to be the path I am on – nothing works out. Things get stuck, plans go wrong, and frustration sets in. As soon as I move towards the path laid out for me – synchronicities and flow are restored and everything happens with ease and joy.

Which is just a little bit irritating at times.

Because it seems my set path and my desires do not always align. And I don’t know what to do about that. It probably doesn’t help that I’ve always had a ‘life’s too short, do what you want to do now, not later’ mentality. Which means I can be quite impatient at times. It may be that I get to be where I want, with who I want to be with and doing what I want to do – later along this set path. But in this moment right now, ‘later’ is just too far away.

Then again, it’s interesting that I have never been one to plan for the future. I recently read a book called ‘Scarcity: Why having too little means so much’ and it had some very interesting theories in it. The authors say that when there is a scarcity of something, whether it is money, time or love, then the ability to plan ahead, to see further than the present moment, is greatly diminished, or even non-existent. Which means that people who live with a scarcity mentality live purely in the now, and so don’t often save or invest money, or invest their time in projects that will benefit them later on, or be content to wait for the right person to be with.

Reading the book really hit home to me that I have lived my whole life with a scarcity mentality.

I didn’t save up money, I used credit cards if I needed/wanted something.

I didn’t want to attend university to get qualifications because it would take three years, and that was too long, it felt like a waste of time. I didn’t even stay in school to do A-levels, because another two years was too much, I had to get out, and start living, worried that there would not be enough time.

I have become pretty much addicted to technology, because of the ease and speed of it. I love my kindle because if I want to read a book, I can download it in seconds. I love my phone because I get my messages through wherever I am, and googlemaps means I never have to get lost.

I am proud of what I have done so far, and my impatience has served me well in some cases, but I do know that there are so many things I could have done, had I trusted that there was enough.

If I had trusted there was enough time, I might have endured University so that I could get some qualifications, and be working in a decent job right now, instead of having to take on minimum wage jobs when funds are low. I might have saved up money for the things I wanted, and waited until I could afford them, rather than buying now and paying for the interest later. I might also have slowed down a little, enjoyed myself along the way more, rather than zooming from one thing to the next.

If I had trusted there was enough money, I would have created savings, I would have invested, and I would have made better plans for my future. I would have a pension, and I would have figure out how to retire young so I don’t have to work my whole life. I wouldn’t have made silly decisions in the spur of the moment, and I wouldn’t have taken on jobs I hated or tried to start businesses just to make money quickly.

If I had trusted that I was loved, I wouldn’t have been in such a rush to grow up, to meet someone. And if I trusted that the love I have is eternal, I wouldn’t be in such a hurry now to get this stage of my life over with so I can return to the embrace of the one I love.

I don’t do regrets. I have no regrets for the life I have lived so far. It has been a journey I needed to take, to be able to complete my mission, which is to help people. So even if I had a time-travel machine, I would probably still not go back in time and change anything.

But I also believe that once you wake up, there is no going back. Recognising my scarcity mentality has meant that I can no longer live with it. I can no longer tolerate my impatience, and that I need to begin planning for my future, and looking further ahead than the present moment in which I find myself in. Otherwise, in a year’s time, or even in ten years time, I may find myself in the exact same place I am in now. Only older and possibly with more debts!

All I need to decide now, is what I would do if I trusted that there was enough.

There is a story that I think illustrates it perfectly. There is an older couple chatting on the wife’s 70th birthday. She says to her husband that it was always her dream to be a lawyer, but that she never did it. So he suggests that she train to be one. She protests, saying that it will take five years to do the degree, and she would be 75 by the time she qualified. He replies that she will be 75 in five years no matter what. So it’s her choice if she is 75 with a law degree, or 75 without one.

If you trusted that there was enough, what would you do? Do you believe you can change your fate? I’d love to hear your thoughts, please do comment below.

The Twin Flame Reunion