Experience, Learn, Heal, Let go, Move on…

Hello beautiful soul! Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read my blog post, I appreciate our attention, and I promise it will be worth the five-minute pause in your busy life.

There’s something that has been bugging me a little bit recently, and I want to share it with you, and see what you think. It feels as though everywhere I look online, there is someone who is sharing their story, about their ill-health, or tragic life event, or personal loss. These stories are inspiring, as they help us to re-evaluate, make sure we are in fact looking after our bodies, making up with those we love, and living life to the fullest.

But for the people telling their story, what worries me is when their story becomes their whole life. Their whole purpose. Their only reason for existing. And this worries me because I feel that actually, their life is about much more than that, and they may be limiting themselves to reliving a traumatic time over and over – in the hope of helping others.

This is very noble, but not very helpful to themselves.

Now this is just my personal opinion, and I’m sure many would disagree with me, but from my point of view, we are here to experience things, learn from them, heal them and them let them go. We aren’t required to live them, then re-live them over and over. Even if it’s in the hope of helping others. Many motivational speakers tell their stories over and over, and yes, many of them have moved on, and so telling their story is just their way of giving back. But some are just stuck in their story, unable to make new ones, and unable to live their life to its fullest.

In my own life, I have experienced and overcome many health issues, relationship issues, financial issues, etc. We all have, it’s an inevitable part of being human. But I don’t talk much about overcoming these things, I am too busy creating what I love. I am too busy writing books, making videos, connecting with my friends and enjoying my life as much as I can. When we tell our stories of our bad experiences too often, we become known for them, and we become associated with them. And I guess I just don’t want to become known as the woman who had this medical issue, or the woman who can’t eat bread, or the woman who survived being penniless and in debt.

I would like to be known for my novels, for my videos about Earth Angels, for my kindness or my fabulous cakes. Or even as that woman who swears too much and believes in unicorns.

Because that woman sounds like a heck of a lot more fun.

Now I’m not advocating that we remain silent when we are in pain, that we don’t reach out for help when we need it, or that we don’t share our stories. Because it is important to connect with others and know you are not alone when you are in the darkness. What I am saying, is that when the darkness moves on, learn from what you experienced, heal it as much as you can, and then let it go with peace, and move on.

The best definition of forgiveness I ever read was along the lines of – If you have truly forgiven someone or something, it means that you will never speak of what hurt you again, because to forgive is to let go. So if you find yourself bringing up a past hurt over and over, even though you have said you have forgiven then, perhaps there is more healing to be done in order for you to let go.

To stay stuck in your stories of pain, is to keep rereading the same bad novel over and over, even though it brings you no joy, even though you are now bored of it, and it no longer helps you in any way. Close the book, and then burn it, or give it away. There are so many new experiences for you out there! A whole infinite library, just waiting for you. There is so much joy for you to feel, so much laughter and excitement. Yes, or course there is more darkness too, but when it comes, you will know not to hold onto it for a moment longer than you need to.

Your words are powerful. They are creating your very reality in every moment. So choose them wisely, because you are making magical spells every time you speak.

 

Thank you for reading this, for allowing me to intrude on your day, and on a lighter note, I hope your 2019 is full of magic and fun. I will do my best to post more often, I have so much I want to share with you! So stay tuned, and please subscribe if you want my posts to arrive in your inbox.

Much love.xx

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My Demons are My Muses

I’ve been having some interesting conversations, and reading books and watching movies and taking part in classes about the subject of stories. The stories we are living. The stories we are telling. The stories we are believing. And it’s brought up some interesting things for me, as a writer, a storyteller, and creator of fictional worlds.

I am aware that the stories we tell and that we believe, create the world we live in. When we repeat the same refrain over and over, about who we are, and what we are and are not capable of – it becomes our reality. It becomes our truth, and we will tell it to whoever will listen.

We create our pain, our struggle, our drama – all by what we say. Out loud and in our minds.

I know, that I have all the tools I need to slay all of my demons and create a harmonious, abundant, joyful life. But I don’t use the tools, I don’t put things into practice, I don’t slay my demons and create that life. Why?

Because my demons are my muses.

My darkest moments have created the most powerful scenes in my books. My lowest points have yielded my best poetry. My expression of the depths of my despair have reached people, connected with people, resonated with people, who are in that very same place. And in those connections, those people have realised something crucial.

They are not alone.

There is hope.

If the character can experience the same pain, the same struggle, the same pitch dark night of the soul – and survive it – then those people can too.

I know that I don’t need to experience something to write about it. There is much I have written about that I have not yet experienced, and perhaps never will. But I do know that when I have experienced something, and when I write even in the moment I am still experiencing it, those words are what connect with people in the deepest possible way.

And so, my demons are my muses.

Of course, being aware of this means that I don’t have to dwell in those dark spaces. I don’t have to give my demons any more airtime than necessary. Instead, I can live with them. And isn’t that what it’s all about? Becoming friends with our shadows? Accepting every part of our selves – the good and the bad, the light and the dark? If I were to slay my demons, and live purely in the light, I may as well be on the other side in heaven, and not a human on this planet.

The point of being human is not to slay the demons, but to understand them. To listen to them. And to let them help you to help others.

So tell your stories. Live your stories. Believe your stories. But know that you have the power to change the story whenever you choose. You are creating your experience, your life, with your story,Β and by understanding and befriending your demons, you can create an even more powerful story, that could help others.

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