Empowerment, not blame

There’s a concept in the spiritual/new age beliefs that says that you create your own reality. That whatever is going on in your life – you have chosen or created it, perhaps not on a conscious level, but on a subconscious one.

I do believe this to be true, and I see a lot of people hating this concept, because they think that they are to blame, or at fault for their illness, their bad relationships, their circumstances, or their situation.

But the way I see it, is that if I am responsible for creating what I am currently experiencing, then I am capable of changing it. If I am not responsible, and it is the creation of some outside person, deity or force, then there is absolutely nothing I can do to change it.

I am powerless. I am at the mercy of the whims of the unknown.

So I prefer to see myself as being the creator of my reality. Because I find it empowering to be in control of my own situation. Because even if there is something I cannot change – I can change my perspective of it. I can change my experience of it.

When it comes to health, if there is a dis-ease or issue in my body, I do what I need to do to heal. I change my diet, I see a professional therapist, I change my thoughts, and I nurture and care for myself. I do not blame myself, berate myself, hate my body, fight it and punish it for failing me. Because even though I believe that I created the issue, it doesn’t mean that I consciously wanted that particular illness. It just means that my actions/thoughts/beliefs up to that point created it, so I need to change them in order to heal it.

When it comes to finances, instead of blaming the economy, my job, or taxes, I now look at where I am spending unnecessarily. I look at what I can save, where I can make more money, and learn how to manage it better. I change my beliefs and my thought patterns.

When it comes to relationships, I no longer blame the other person for what is not working. Instead, I go within, turn up the self-love dial, and make sure that I am in complete authenticity with myself and with them. I make changes in my own behaviour.

When we blame, we hurt. When we take responsibility, we heal.

Perspective is everything, and how you see things will be the way you experience them.

What do you think?

Experience, Learn, Heal, Let go, Move on…

Hello beautiful soul! Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read my blog post, I appreciate our attention, and I promise it will be worth the five-minute pause in your busy life.

There’s something that has been bugging me a little bit recently, and I want to share it with you, and see what you think. It feels as though everywhere I look online, there is someone who is sharing their story, about their ill-health, or tragic life event, or personal loss. These stories are inspiring, as they help us to re-evaluate, make sure we are in fact looking after our bodies, making up with those we love, and living life to the fullest.

But for the people telling their story, what worries me is when their story becomes their whole life. Their whole purpose. Their only reason for existing. And this worries me because I feel that actually, their life is about much more than that, and they may be limiting themselves to reliving a traumatic time over and over – in the hope of helping others.

This is very noble, but not very helpful to themselves.

Now this is just my personal opinion, and I’m sure many would disagree with me, but from my point of view, we are here to experience things, learn from them, heal them and them let them go. We aren’t required to live them, then re-live them over and over. Even if it’s in the hope of helping others. Many motivational speakers tell their stories over and over, and yes, many of them have moved on, and so telling their story is just their way of giving back. But some are just stuck in their story, unable to make new ones, and unable to live their life to its fullest.

In my own life, I have experienced and overcome many health issues, relationship issues, financial issues, etc. We all have, it’s an inevitable part of being human. But I don’t talk much about overcoming these things, I am too busy creating what I love. I am too busy writing books, making videos, connecting with my friends and enjoying my life as much as I can. When we tell our stories of our bad experiences too often, we become known for them, and we become associated with them. And I guess I just don’t want to become known as the woman who had this medical issue, or the woman who can’t eat bread, or the woman who survived being penniless and in debt.

I would like to be known for my novels, for my videos about Earth Angels, for my kindness or my fabulous cakes. Or even as that woman who swears too much and believes in unicorns.

Because that woman sounds like a heck of a lot more fun.

Now I’m not advocating that we remain silent when we are in pain, that we don’t reach out for help when we need it, or that we don’t share our stories. Because it is important to connect with others and know you are not alone when you are in the darkness. What I am saying, is that when the darkness moves on, learn from what you experienced, heal it as much as you can, and then let it go with peace, and move on.

The best definition of forgiveness I ever read was along the lines of – If you have truly forgiven someone or something, it means that you will never speak of what hurt you again, because to forgive is to let go. So if you find yourself bringing up a past hurt over and over, even though you have said you have forgiven then, perhaps there is more healing to be done in order for you to let go.

To stay stuck in your stories of pain, is to keep rereading the same bad novel over and over, even though it brings you no joy, even though you are now bored of it, and it no longer helps you in any way. Close the book, and then burn it, or give it away. There are so many new experiences for you out there! A whole infinite library, just waiting for you. There is so much joy for you to feel, so much laughter and excitement. Yes, or course there is more darkness too, but when it comes, you will know not to hold onto it for a moment longer than you need to.

Your words are powerful. They are creating your very reality in every moment. So choose them wisely, because you are making magical spells every time you speak.

 

Thank you for reading this, for allowing me to intrude on your day, and on a lighter note, I hope your 2019 is full of magic and fun. I will do my best to post more often, I have so much I want to share with you! So stay tuned, and please subscribe if you want my posts to arrive in your inbox.

Much love.xx