Empowerment, not blame

There’s a concept in the spiritual/new age beliefs that says that you create your own reality. That whatever is going on in your life – you have chosen or created it, perhaps not on a conscious level, but on a subconscious one.

I do believe this to be true, and I see a lot of people hating this concept, because they think that they are to blame, or at fault for their illness, their bad relationships, their circumstances, or their situation.

But the way I see it, is that if I am responsible for creating what I am currently experiencing, then I am capable of changing it. If I am not responsible, and it is the creation of some outside person, deity or force, then there is absolutely nothing I can do to change it.

I am powerless. I am at the mercy of the whims of the unknown.

So I prefer to see myself as being the creator of my reality. Because I find it empowering to be in control of my own situation. Because even if there is something I cannot change – I can change my perspective of it. I can change my experience of it.

When it comes to health, if there is a dis-ease or issue in my body, I do what I need to do to heal. I change my diet, I see a professional therapist, I change my thoughts, and I nurture and care for myself. I do not blame myself, berate myself, hate my body, fight it and punish it for failing me. Because even though I believe that I created the issue, it doesn’t mean that I consciously wanted that particular illness. It just means that my actions/thoughts/beliefs up to that point created it, so I need to change them in order to heal it.

When it comes to finances, instead of blaming the economy, my job, or taxes, I now look at where I am spending unnecessarily. I look at what I can save, where I can make more money, and learn how to manage it better. I change my beliefs and my thought patterns.

When it comes to relationships, I no longer blame the other person for what is not working. Instead, I go within, turn up the self-love dial, and make sure that I am in complete authenticity with myself and with them. I make changes in my own behaviour.

When we blame, we hurt. When we take responsibility, we heal.

Perspective is everything, and how you see things will be the way you experience them.

What do you think?

My Top 5 Favourite TED Talks

I know this is a second top 5, but I really enjoyed doing the movie one yesterday, so I thought I would share my favourite TED Talks that I have watched several times.

I won’t go into detail about why I love each one, but I would encourage you to find some time to watch them, because they have inspired me so much. There are so many amazing bits of gold in them, and every time I watch them, I hear new things, I resonate with different things, and become even more inspired.

The following four ladies are most definitely ladies I would consider to be great role models. Their passion, their drive, and their ability to be vulnerable, honest and authentic on stage is incredible.

What do you think of the talks? What is your favourite TED? Would love to know if you have any recommendations!

#1. Diana Nyad – Find a Way

#2. Elizabeth Gilbert – Your Elusive Creative Genius

#3. Brene Brown – The Power of Vulnerability

#4. Brene Brown – Listening to Shame

#5. Amanda Palmer – The Art of Asking