Jan 20 2015

Goals Not Wishes

It’s my 31st Birthday today. And I’m not sure how I feel about that. I think of all the goals I have set over the last few years and there are so many that haven’t happened, it makes me wonder why I bother trying to set them.

Still in an attempt to set goals and make a plan for 2015, I’m writing down 100 things to do in 2015, and after writing down number three:

– I have a sudden moment of complete clarity.

I haven’t been setting goals. I’ve been making wishes.

Goals should be actionable, achievable, doable, tangible things that YOU can make happen. That are in YOUR control to create. Not things that are mostly up to other people to make happen.

To clarify, this is a goal:

I will write a book in 30 days.

This is a wish:

I will sell 1000 books in a month.

Because writing a book in 30 days is completely within your realm. You can do it, it is completely possible. Selling 1000 books however, depends on a thousand people discovering your book, then making the decision to buy it. You can do all the marketing possible, you can definitely do your best to make your book visible and get it into people’s hands, but ultimately, the number of copies sold is not up to you. It is merely the by-product of you achieving the goals you set for your marketing.

So I’m realising now, that almost every goal I have failed to reach, was one that was out of my hands. And many goals that were up to me, did happen. So all this time I have been beating myself up for failing over and over is ridiculous. Because I was setting myself up to fail by setting goals that weren’t really up to me.

Now, this is not to say that we shouldn’t have intentions, desires, wishes, etc., but I am going to promise myself now, that I will never mistake a wish for a goal again. That my goals will be actionable, achievable and doable by me.

Because every time I set a goal that is really a wish, and I don’t achieve it, I am dis-empowering myself. I am making myself feel useless. And I no longer wish to live that way. I am going to focus on the things that I know I can make happen, and then appreciate and celebrate the results, no matter what they are.

I do feel that many people have tried to get these concepts through to me before, and they just haven’t sunk in. But like anything that really gets under your skin and makes total sense, it’s got to come from within. So if you’re reading this and just thinking that I’m some crazy woman who’s afraid of reaching 31 having not fulfilled her goals, so she’s making a bunch of excuses for it, that’s cool. But if this post is resonating with you in any way, go within and ask if that’s true for you too.

Now I think I need to go out and buy some new slippers.

Jan 19 2015

Adventures with Astrid – January

In December I began my Adventure with Astrid, in my attempt to change my haphazard ways and become a more organised person for 2015. The reasons for this were to get my life in order and to make things happen that require some kind of long-term planning. The first step I took was to buy myself a gorgeous planner, who I named Astrid. In my planner I have sections for everything. Addresses (I’m always losing my address book) diary, goals and dreams, to-do list, and notes from books I’m reading and ideas I have.

Astrid has stayed faithfully by my side since I bought her, and since the beginning of the year, I have been filling her up every day with things I want to do, but I also have used her to form some daily habits that I have wanted to have, but never got round to creating.

Some things have been blanked out to protect the innocent. Hehe

Having Astrid by my side has helped me to take part in a 30 Day Blogging Challenge, of which I have done every day for the last 19 days on my author blog, and I have also begun a new blog on my business website, all about Indie Publishing, and I am on day 4 there.

I have started the habit of meditating daily, going for a walk every day, reading a book every week, reading through my Love List every other day and writing one thing I am grateful for every day.

My Sunday walk in the woods

In terms of long-term plans, however, that still hasn’t really happened. I had a session with the Time Doctor, Mike Gardner, and he helped me to realise that I am a creative person, and not a linear-thinking, organised person. So perhaps instead of trying to become linear – I should come up with creative solutions to my problems.

Part of me still very much wants to just go with the flow, and just see what happens along the way. But another part of me really wants to break the cycle of not moving forward in certain areas of my life. I think if things were good financially, then I would feel more justified in going with the flow, because I could afford to. Which might not make a scrap of sense, but it seems to make sense to me.

Anyway, my plan now, is to create creative solutions for the areas of my life I’m not happy with. I think the solutions need to be very visual, colourful, fun and maybe even a bit silly. But I’m not sure yet what they looks like or where they’ll come from.

What I have realised, is that having a structured routine might just not be the right way forward for me. So although I have daily ‘action’ lists, I don’t stick to rigidly to doing each thing at the same time each day, as long as I can tick it off the list by the end of the day, when it happened doesn’t matter. Though I have been trying to fit my walk in before dark!

I consider my adventure to be successful so far, as I feel quite calm and peaceful, which I think is down to the meditation. In all the years I have been reading spiritual self-help books, I have never had the daily practice of meditation. But I can see now, finally, why so many people swear by it! It creates a space in your head, it makes room for growth, for new ideas, for love to envelop you. In fact, I think I may sign off now to meditate for a while.

How are your New Year plans coming along?

Jan 18 2015

Matrix Reimprinting

This week, I have been reading Matrix Reimprinting Using EFT: Rewrite Your Past, Transform Your Future, in my bid to read a book a week. I’ve had this book on my Kindle for quite a long time now, and I’m glad that I finally got to read it.

I have used EFT many times over the last few years, and have benefited greatly from it. In this book, it’s not just about using EFT to release emotions or fears, but to actually rewrite scenes or moments in the past that have had an effect on you throughout your whole life. The idea is, that by energetically rewriting these scenes, these experiences, you can actually change your beliefs or emotions in the present day that were created from that experience.

I have tried it out a couple of times so far, and each time it has led me to another scene that I had forgotten, that had such a strong charge that I would get emotional. I will continue to work on each thing that comes up, and once I have had a bit of practice with the basic technique, I can then move onto the more complicated ones.

Though I haven’t had much time to see whether it makes a difference yet, I do know that there are many instances of things that happened in my childhood which have affected me later on. It is believed that everything that happens in our lives up until the age of 6 or 7, will shape our views and experience of the world when we’re adults. Even really minor incidents at that time can cause problems later on.

It will be interesting to see what long-term effect doing the reimprinting has, and if I notice any major differences, I will write another post about it in the future. But if you have tried EFT before and found it to be effective, then I would recommend getting a copy of this book and trying it out yourself.

Jan 17 2015

Michelle Gordon and the Epic Harry Potter Party

A year ago right now, I was getting the last-minute things ready for my Harry Potter theme party to celebrate turning 30. I had already sent out the invites by owl, had begun to turn the house into Hogwarts, and made a lot of chocolate frogs. Having done two other Harry Potter parties already by this point, one for my best friend, Liz Lockwood, and another for a very good friend, Annette, I already had many of the props and decorations. I created a site to house all the photos, called Lumos Parties.

Despite the crazy weather on the day, we all had a great time, though the quidditch match was cut a little bit short!

It was great to see some friends I hadn’t seen in a while, and to drink butterbeer and eat Hagrid cake. My sister was a fantastic Professor Trelawney, and her readings really were quite accurate! (Which freaked a few people out!)

Anyway, just thought I would post a little gallery of my favourite photos, and the video I created of the day. Can’t quite believe it was a whole year ago though, will be 31 in a few days!

[youtube http://youtu.be/iU8v72kYaPw]

Jan 16 2015

Trusting Your Intuition

I know I have blogged about this before, but I think it’s something that I need to keep blogging about until I finally start listening to my own advice and get a clue.

So I’m sitting in Morrison’s Café right now, killing some time, and I figured I could have a hot chocolate and do a bit of writing while I wait. I bought the hot chocolate, and after sitting down, I took a few sips and found that it tasted, quite frankly, a bit gross. It was super sweet, and after drinking a few mouthfuls, I found I had the disgusting aftertaste of sweeteners in my mouth. I should have stopped drinking after the first couple of mouthfuls, because I knew it would not be good for me, as I haven’t had anything with sweeteners in for quite a few years now, but I stubbornly held to the fact that I wanted a hot chocolate to drink while I waited.

But halfway through drinking it, it got ridiculous. My stomach was now churning, and the aftertaste was really bitter and starting to bother me, to the point where I couldn’t concentrate on my writing. So I took what was left of it to the counter, and complained. She didn’t even question it, she just said they’d had a problem with their machine and she immediately gave me a refund. But sitting here now, with my stomach churning painfully, I just feel a little bit stupid for not listening to my intuition after the first couple of mouthfuls and stopping.

This may seem like a really trivial thing, after all, it’s just a cup of hot chocolate, but my stomach is so sensitive (I have a gluten intolerance, so I’m usually pretty careful) that I may well end up with stomach cramps and other unpleasant things to contend with all evening, all because I didn’t stop drinking, and complain sooner. I’m drinking water now, and am trying to get rid of the hideous taste in my mouth, but it’s not working so far.

It also led me to start thinking about how many people come into this café, and have a hot chocolate that is clearly choc-ful of sweeteners and other crap. Do other people not taste it? Have they become so desensitised to it that it’s just not noticeable? After all, there are artificial sweeteners in virtually everything. Not to mention that there is wheat in so many things too, even in things that have absolutely no need for it whatsoever.

But most of all, what this little outing has proven to me, is that I still don’t act on my intuition easily. That I will get a thought to do something (or not do something) but if it clashes with something I have decided I want, or with what others want, then I am likely to resist it. It has happened with bigger things. In 2012, I wanted to go to a Faerie Festival in Glastonbury. But on the way there, I kept getting the feeling (well at times it was more like a voice shouting at me) that I should turn around and go home, and not to go out for the day. But I ignored it. I wanted to go and I had a car full of people who wanted to go.

So off we went, and we had a great day in Glastonbury, though I was in a bit of a mood to start with because we had left so late in the day, and I was having to resist the voice yelling at me. We headed back around 7pm, and being March it was dark at this point. We were on a 50mph stretch of road, doing 45mph, when the car in front stopped dead in the road. Of course, I hit them, and the car behind me then hit me, sandwiching my car, writing it off. Hello, dead car, crazy insurance claims and months of painful whiplash.

All because I stubbornly held to what I wanted to do. Now, you may think that it was all just random, that none of those things had anything to do with each other, but that wasn’t the first car accident I’ve been in after ignoring my inner voice.

Every time I regret ignoring my intuition, I swear to myself that I won’t do it again, that I will listen and take action next time. But as I sit here in Morrison’s café, hoping that my stomach will play nice until I get home, I have to wonder when I will ever really learn.

Do you listen to your intuition? Even when it’s telling you something you don’t want to hear? Do you ignore your inner voice because it doesn’t fit in with what you want, or with what others around you want? Or do you follow your intuition every time? Let me know your thoughts in the comments 🙂

Jan 15 2015

Permission to be Myself

I was inspired to write today’s blog post after having a great Skype session with Mike Gardner, aka The Time Doctor. We met on Facebook through the 30 Day Blogging Challenge group, and he suggested we have a session to see if he could assist me with my time management problems.

Well how many ‘aha’ moments can you fit into an hour and twenty-minute conversation? Quite a few apparently. The first thing to come up, was that based on the way I speak, the terms I use to describe things and my chosen vocation, Mike identified that I am very right-brained, and very creative. Which means that I simply don’t think the same way that left-brained, logical, structured people do.

AND THAT IS OKAY.

It’s who I am, it’s how I think, it’s how I work. It’s not defective, it’s not wrong, it’s not awful. So why do I keep beating myself up over it? My family members are all very creative people. My dad is a photographer, a musician, an artist and a craftsman. My mother is a quilter, patchworker and craftswoman. My sister is an artist, musician and graphic designer and my brother is a musician and handyman. It would be downright odd if I were left-brained, to be honest, coming from the background that I do. At home, we didn’t really do routine or structure, aside from school and work. We were encouraged to be creative, to do our own thing, to be original.

We weren’t encouraged to be practical, to save money, to be disciplined and stick at things we hated. (In fact my dad did work in a very corporate background, and he did stick to it, but seeing how miserable he was doing it, put me off that kind of life completely).

I realised after my session with Mike that I had created this link in my mind, that the reason I was in a bad position financially, was due to my haphazard (creative) ways, and so if I was to solve the financial issues, I would need to become more organised, more structured, and more left-brained in order to solve those problems. Because being creative = being poor. And this isn’t unusual thinking. After all, the ‘starving artist’ concept is so strong in our society, that when artists, musicians or writers do make a lot of money, it’s a big deal, because it’s seen as being so out of the ordinary.

I could go on about this all day, but the point is, I have now unlinked those concepts in my mind. Because I don’t choose to live in a world where to be wealthy you have to be left-brained. I choose to live in a world where if you are living a life full of passion, love and service, you get to be wealthy. If working in a highly logical, structured way is your passion, then you should be wealthy. If working in a creative, authentic and unstructured way is your passion, then you should be wealthy.

The reason that I have tried so many times to implement structure in the hopes it will help me sort my finances, and yet have always failed with it, is because I was trying to be someone I was not. I need to play to my strengths – which is to be creative – and use that ability to sort it out. And in allowing myself to come up with creative ways to solve my financial problems, I have already had several awesome ideas, that not only will help me, but will also help others who have similar issues.

Wow. The above is just talking about a single ‘aha’ moment I had in my session with Mike. If I wrote about them all, it would be a ridiculously long post. Because suddenly, I have been given permission to be myself. And I cannot believe it has taken me this long, or that I needed someone else to give it to me, but at least from this moment on, I will no longer strive to be someone I am not. I will strive to be me.

I went into my session with Mike expecting him to give me some strategies on how to be more efficient with my time, and yet I came away with something far more valuable and awesome. I would recommend checking out Mike’s blog, where there is a wealth of information. Or get in touch with him to arrange a session. In the meantime, just in case you need it – I hereby give you permission to be 100% yourself. Because you are awesome 🙂

PS. I just Googled ‘Be Yourself Quotes’ and looked at the images to find an image for this post. I loved the one above because I love Richard Bach’s work, but there were so many great quotes, check them out for yourself 🙂

Jan 14 2015

The Sliding Doors Effect

After someone mentioning the movie, Sliding Doors, over Christmas, I decided to watch it again, for the first time in many years, because I remembered enjoying it when I was younger. The idea that when we make a decision – or miss a train – that there is another version of us that splits off into a parallel universe that exists alongside the one we’re in, is actually not a completely crazy concept.

In The Elphite, my main character, Ellie, lives her life over and over, making different decisions in each lifetime which means that her life takes different pathways, though ultimately, keeps ending up the same way. The concept of fate and destiny and whether our lives are already written is fascinating to me, and that’s why it’s a feature in my books and is the theme of many of my favourite movies (like Deja Vu).

Just for fun, I thought it would be interesting to explore what my life would been like if I had made a different decision at a certain point in my life. The decision I have picked was the one I made to quit my degree at Lampeter University. If I had stayed at Uni, then in the second year, I would have lived in Ohio, and studied in a college there for the year. Which to be truthful, was the main reason for choosing that degree, because I had always wanted to live in America.

Perhaps while living and studying in America, I would have made connections with people there, maybe met an American guy or just very good friends. After returning to Wales and completing my third year, I might have then moved back to the US, and through my contacts, and with my shiny new degree, got myself a job over there, doing… erm… something… writing for a magazine maybe?

After living in Ohio for a while, I’m pretty sure I would have then looked to move to either the east or west coast, after all, I’ve never been very keen on living too far inland, and after spending some time in New York previously, I think I would have probably headed there.

Would I have been successful in New York? I’m not sure, I can only speculate. I would hope that I would have still discovered Nanowrimo, and still gone on to write novels, but I can safely say that none of my current books (apart from Heaven dot com, which I wrote when I was 16) would have existed in this parallel universe. Because everything that inspired them happened after 2005, when I started out in Lampeter Uni. I’m Here might have ended up existing, as it was inspired by events that happened in my short time at Lampeter, but it may have had a completely different twist to the end.

I did actually live in New York in 2008, perhaps I passed my parallel universe self on the street without realising it?

It’s fun to imagine that there could be a parallel universe me, working for a magazine or in a publishing house in New York (which is entirely possible, as I have connections there that existed before 2004) but I am quite glad to be experiencing the reality I currently exist in.

If I had left Lampeter, but then actually completed the second degree I tried, in Derby University, then there could very well be a parallel universe me who is a fashion designer… now that, is a very scary concept!

What do you think your parallel universe selves are doing? Is there a big decision that you’ve made, and then wondered what would have happened if you’d chosen differently? It may not be the most productive use of your time, but it’s certainly a fun idea to explore. Perhaps it will inspire you to make changes, or just be grateful for your life and the way it turned out. Or perhaps you’ll just end up saying – Michelle is a complete nutter. However it works out, know that the reality you are experiencing is exactly the right one for you 🙂

Jan 13 2015

A Room of One’s Own

Virginia Woolf’s famous quote, that to write fiction, a woman must have ‘a room of one’s own’, is something I once believed to be true. That it was important to have the perfect space to compose my stories in.

But though I still dream of having a roll-top writing desk, and a stunning view, (as evidenced on my pinterest board) having written nine books now, I have come to realise that it’s not really necessary to have those things to be able to write. I have written the majority of my books while sitting on my bed (not the best thing for my posture, I know, no need to lecture me) or on the sofa, or in various other places, some of which had a view, some didn’t.

Admittedly one of my favourite views, when I sat on the beach to write parts of my latest book.

I’ve also come to realise that as long as I can write on some form of computer, I don’t need special equipment to write on either. I don’t have any special tools, a writing totem or any kind of ritual at all. I do need plenty of snacks usually, and have to stay hydrated and warm, but there ends the necessities.

Part of me would love to have some bizarre writing ritual, that had to be performed before a writing session, just to add a little more eccentricity to my life. But over the last few months, I have come to realise that in fact, the only vital ingredient necessary for me to write well and enjoy myself is this:

Excitement.

If I am excited to tell the story, it doesn’t matter where I am, what I’m wearing or what view I have. All that matters is that I can let that story flow quickly through me and out into the world. And if I lose my excitement for the story, no amount of rituals or special tools are going to coax it out of me onto the page. (Well, certain snacks might do the trick, especially a good lemon meringue pie)

When I finished writing The Twin Flame Reunion, I had no intention to plunge straight into the next book, because I usually allow a bit of time in between books. But the story had already begun taking shape in my head, and as it was the season of Nanowrimo, I felt excited to get the next instalment written. So I went for it. And my excitement for the story meant that I finished the novel in the shortest time it has ever taken me to write a book.

No sooner had I finished that one, did I want to write another. Suddenly, all I wanted to do was write. And not just in my usual genre for my established collection and series, but I also had ideas for trilogies and other series of books that I felt excited about. Writing and publishing only two books a year now feels like too little. I feel like I haven’t really pushed myself enough, that I’ve been slacking too often.

So don’t be surprised if you find that by the end of this year, I have written way more than that, because that is definitely my intention – whether I have a room of my own or not.

Jan 12 2015

Image

Inspirational Quote of the Month

Jan 11 2015

Collaborate for Success

As part of my new plan for 2015, I have committed to reading a book a week on a subject that I am interested in, then on the Sunday, write my thoughts on it. I read a lot of non-fiction spiritual and self-help books, and usually have several on the go on my Kindle. Because I decided to do this halfway through the weeks, I decided to finish a book I was partway through – called The 7 Graces of Marketing by Lynn Serafinn. I re-read part of what I had read a while ago, then continued on until I finished it this afternoon.

Because I find marketing difficult, I was hoping that Lynn’s book would shine a light on how to market my books in an ethical, holistic way. And though I have not yet processed all of the information, I do think her book has been most helpful in pinpointing how marketing currently works, and why I feel so uneasy about doing it that way. And in fact, I am already following the majority of the seven graces in my own marketing, but I haven’t quite reached the final grace, which she says is Collaboration.

I have been feeling for some time now, that I need to collaborate with others, that there needs to be a collective energy that has the same purpose and is enthused and passionate, and that when that happens, everything will take off. When you’re an Indie Author, you are on your own. Yes, I collaborate with my editor and graphic designer to create my books, but when it comes to selling the end product, I have done the majority of it on my own.

The thing is, I know how the old form of marketing works – you basically make people feel worthless if they don’t have your product, you make them believe that there’s a limited amount, and so they better buy now or they’ll miss out (which in the age of eBooks and POD books, is a ridiculous notion), and you make them feel like your product is the solution to all their problems.

But though the above ways might work well – after all, we have been conditioned for years to respond to marketing in the way companies want us to – none of those techniques have ever felt right to me. And it is my number one priority to be authentic and real. That’s why, when I got a press release written for the release of The Other Side, I couldn’t use it. Because it was full of hype and screamed ‘buy it now or miss out’, which is really inauthentic.

So how do I stick to this new paradigm of marketing, and still sell enough to be able to live? I have no idea. Lynn’s book is the starting point of this exploration into a new world of how we buy and sell, and ultimately, I think it will come down to the consumers changing things by changing the way they consume. If we continue to be drawn in by the limited time offers and hyped up promises, then marketers and companies will continue to use those methods. But if we step back and take a moment to really think about whether what we’re about to purchase is actually the right thing for us, or will actually help us, or is essential to our survival, and will help us thrive; then we will begin to change things.

Like I said, the 7th Grace of Collaboration is one that I think should be my focus this year. To work with others to market my books, and to find people who want to work with me to create something amazing. I don’t see other authors as my competitors, I would love for them to be my collaborators and friends. I think that working together, we can make much bigger changes. I really enjoyed working with sponsors and fans to spread the free eBook cards around the world for the launch of I’m Here, and I would love to do more projects like that in the future.

If you would like to find out more about how marketing currently works, and how it might work better in the future, then I would definitely recommend that you read The 7 Graces of Marketing. And I will let you know when my efforts start to gather momentum. In the spirit of the new paradigm of marketing, I have decided to keep offering free PDF downloads of I’m Here, as part of the I’m Here Book Tour. There is no limited time offer on it. If things change in the future, I will let you know in plenty of time.