Feb 4 2014

The Reunion of the Flames

There has been a lot of interest on my blog lately about Twin Flames. It is a subject very close to my own heart, and it is a theme that runs through my Earth Angel book series. Last year, I wrote a post about Twin Flames, and included a video about the stages of such relationships. The video was in fact sent to me by my own Flame, during a period of separation, after we had got to the fourth stage and gone our separate ways. While watching the video, he had seen the parallels with our relationship, and though he said he sent it to me merely because I write about Flames, I know that the video brought about an awareness within him. It was that awareness that caused us to meet up, just 4 days after I posted the video. Within a week of meeting up we were back together, and less than two weeks later, I had moved in with him. (I wrote a little more about it here)

Things have shifted and changed so much in the last seven months, and through it all, we have become stronger and even more deeply connected. The first thing we did was to be completely and utterly honest with each other. About everything. It was painful at times. There were fears that had been hidden for years, and bringing them into the light was not a joyful experience. But having that level of truth and honesty between us, has meant that we are now so in tune with each other, that we can tell immediately when there is something wrong. I can’t even explain how, but as soon as his energy shifts, and becomes a little negative or dark, I can tell. Now, nothing is kept hidden, or a secret, which means that emotions and fears are not trapped in our bodies and energy, which could cause problems later on.

I had a question from a lady about her Twin Flame, about whether they were indeed Flames and whether they would be together. She wanted to ask Amethyst or Velvet, so I did the reading for her, you can see it below:

In my experience, being with a Twin Flame is intense. But it’s also calming and comforting. To be in the arms of your Flame is to feel completely at home. There is nowhere else you would rather be than in his/her embrace, because that is exactly where you belong. There may be a fair amount of history between you that needs to be worked on and released, after all, you may have had several lifetimes together over the ages. But the effort is worth it, because you know that when you are with them – anything is possible. Just the fact that you have met your Twin Flame is a miracle in itself.

I would love to hear your experiences and views on Twin Flames, have you met yours?

Feb 3 2014

The Man-Brain Box Experiment

My boyfriend sent me this video on Facebook yesterday, and it made me laugh a lot. Mainly because it was SO TRUE. It’s not that we are from different planets – it’s that men and women’s brain are simply structured in completely different ways. So go watch the video, then come back (it’s 10 mins long, but so worth it, I promise).

So this morning, I’m helping my boyfriend with his latest mad creation (to be revealed soon) and we start talking about male and female brains, and he tells me all about his boxes, and how he really doesn’t get to spend enough time in his Nothing Box. The box that most women, (including myself) don’t even realise exists.

This is my interpretation of the brain structure from watching the above video:

Then several realisations hit me. This is why men can’t multi-task, because that would mean opening several boxes at once, and this is why women can’t help but multi-task – because everything is connected. This is why focusing on one thing at a time seems impossible to a woman, but essential to a man. If you’re a female reading this, you will know what I mean when I say that I will be in full creative flow, then I need a drink of water, so I go downstairs, and on the way I pick up the washing basket. Then I put on a load of washing, and hang up the wet washing in the kitchen by the fire. Then there’s no clean glasses, so I do the washing up, because if I’m washing one glass, I may as well wash the rest, then I clean down all the counters, and finally, I get the glass of water, and head back upstairs to my office. By now, anything from 30 to 40 minutes (sometimes more) has passed. And perhaps the creative juices have ceased flowing, perhaps it’s now time to start making dinner, or to call a relative, or a friend pops up on Facebook. Whereas when a man is in the middle of something and he needs a drink, it will take him two minutes to go to the kitchen and get one. Or, he’ll get someone else to get it for him, so he doesn’t have to stop. Or, even more likely, he will just forget to drink anything altogether because he is so focused on his task.

So what does all of this mean? I did say yesterday that I would post if I found a method of motivation that worked for me. So I have decided to do an experiment, for this week to start with, I may extend it if it works!

This is my Man-Brain Box Experiment. Now, because my own brain is a jumbled mass of wire, an internet browser with 30 tabs open, I need an external, visual representation of the boxes. So, I have created these:

Notice how they’re not touching?

These tiny Really Useful Boxes are labeled with the different categories that take up my attention during my waking hours. Each box is filled with bits of paper (because according to my boyfriend, each box is divided into different sections) and on each bit of paper is an activity that comes under that category. The idea is, for the next week, I will only have one box open at a time, and I have to focus all of my attention on whichever activity I have picked out of that box. I will not have several boxes open at once.

For example, the box that is currently open is this one:

So instead of trying to enforce a schedule where I have to do things at certain times, I will just limit myself to focusing on one activity at a time. Now, if another activity comes up while I am doing something else, I will just write it on a piece of paper and put it in the appropriate box, to be completed when that other box is open. It sounds like a bit of a mad experiment, but from past experience, I know that when I have focused my attention and effort on one task at a time, not only do I complete things, but time slows down and overall I achieve more. Whereas at the moment, my attention is scattered across many different activities, and I spend a lot of time feeling overwhelmed by it all. I find that when I get to the end of the day, there is very little I can cross off my to-do list because I have done a bit of everything, and not completed any one thing.

It’s not that I want to be a man, I’m quite happy being female, but I think that this experiment could possibly have two benefits – the first is that I might understand men a little better by the end of it. And the second is that I might become more productive, less stressed out, and less overwhelmed on a daily basis. I’m hoping it will also slow time down a little, as it seems to be rushing by way too quickly.

So I will post my progress, I would love to hear what you think of the experiment, and whether you would be up for trying it too. I will also try to keep note of which boxes I open the most, and I will let you know if I ever manage to get into my Nothing Box!

Jan 25 2014

How I Deal with Criticism

“In many ways the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little, yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgement. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read. But the bitter truth we critics must face, is that in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than our criticism designating it so. But there are times when a critic truly risks something, and that is in the discovery and defense of the new. The world is often unkind to new talent, new creations. The new needs friends.”

– Anton Ego, Ratatouille

This quote from Ratatouille really hit home today, as yesterday I found myself to be the subject of a blog post, where I was personally ridiculed for my ‘extreme’ positivity. The author of the blog said that I had nothing at my core, and that my Spirituality was based on pretty pictures with absurd quotes on them, and that I foolishly believed that the Universe would provide me with everything I needed. He had unfriended me on Facebook because my posts of positive affirmations were offending him. Had this been someone I barely knew, it would have hurt less, I presume. But this was someone I knew and had trusted, and had wished nothing but good for. I asked to be unsubscribed from his blog, lest I be subjected to more of his negative rants, and he took offence to that, after all, why shouldn’t he express his opinion?

By all means, express your opinion. But know that it says more about you, than the person you talk about. And should the subject of your rantings express their desire not to read rubbish written about them, then you should respect that.

So what should we do, those of us who put our work, and ourselves out there in the world, when someone takes it upon themselves to tear us apart? A few months ago, I came across the story of an author who had listed her book, pre-publication, on Goodreads. For no known reason, several members took it upon themselves to write terrible reviews of her books, and very nasty things about her, which I will not repeat here. In response to this, she decided not to publish the book, and withdrew from the Goodreads community altogether. Because of that senseless trolling, the world will never see her words, read her masterpieces. Was her choice the right one? Only she will know that. I hope that one day she may be brave enough to bare her soul again.

Some might say that artists and writers need to toughen up, that criticism is necessary, and that we should just learn to deal with it. But why should we? Isn’t it our sensitivity that makes our words and images great? We dare to be vulnerable so that the critic doesn’t have to. And is criticism actually necessary? We do it because it is the norm, but I don’t believe it is for the good of anyone. I love the quote that Brene Brown uses often, that inspired her book – Daring Greatly. It was in a speech that Theodore Roosevelt gave:

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat. “

We artists and writers are in the arena daily, and we are continually picking ourselves up and dusting ourselves off after being ridiculed or slighted for our work. But we mustn’t allow the critic or the pessimist stop us from being vulnerable and open. We are not weak when we are vulnerable, we are strong. Because we are not afraid to be who we truly are, no matter what anyone else might say or do to us.

Be yourself, everyone else is far too boring!

My advice to those who are finding themselves the subject of derision or negative criticism – is to smile, and know that as Neale Donald Walsch says – ‘No one does anything inappropriate, given their model of the world.’ The critic’s view of the world may be dark and depressing, but yours need not be. Don’t take their words to heart, because for every critic, there will be many people who love you, and love your work.

So finally, I would like to say thank you, to the one who said I was a ‘doolally flake’, because you have reminded me to surround myself with people who believe in me, as I believe in myself too. And in spite of all you have said, I still wish you the best.

Jan 23 2014

Have You Lost Your Way?

I’ve just posted a new reading on Youtube, to attempt to answer a question sent to me from an Elemental called Annette. She has been diverted off her path for some time, and she wanted to know how to get back on track. She wasn’t sure whether to ask Aria or Velvet, and because I felt it was important to have a mixture of both serious and playful advice for this question I decided to ask both. I hope you enjoy the video, and if you have any questions you’d like to ask, please e-mail them to me at theamethystangel@hotmail.co.uk. I hope the advice from Aria and Velvet today helps you to find your path again too. Please subscribe to my Youtube channel or follow this blog so you get updated on new readings that are posted.

[youtube http://youtu.be/GZr7e-m9MlE]

Jan 21 2014

Lost in a Technical Blip

Am just dealing with the fact that in transferring photos from my phone to my computer, about four months worth (the last four months) have vanished. They are no longer on my phone and they are not on my computer. Somewhere along the way, there must have been an error and they are now irretrievable. Luckily, a few I had uploaded to facebook, but the rest, well, they’re just gone. Of course after talking to the helpful people at Samsung, I realise that I should have done a back up and transfer via Kies Air, rather than the old school transferring method. But it’s too late for that now.

As upsetting as it is, to lose the photos, (even though I cannot remember all of what I have taken in the last few months) it started me thinking about how reliant I am on my computer and my phone. Of which either could easily malfunction or be lost or stolen. You could say – save it all to the cloud, it’ll be safe there. But is it? Have you ever considered what you would do or how you would feel if Facebook of WordPress suddenly deleted your account? Or they had a massive blip and all the photos, conversations and posts were lost?

I would imagine that it would be similar to the loss of having all of your photographs destroyed in a fire or flood in your home. They’re damaged beyond repair, and there is nothing you can do except to accept they are gone, and to move on. In some ways, it is a kind of cleansing, a de-cluttering. How often do you look at your old photos? How often to you re-read old letters or diaries or old blog posts? Is it even healthy to hold onto all of these old memories? I used to create scrapbooks from my photos, and in more recent times, photobooks, and it’s fun to occasionally look back and remember good memories. But would my life be terrible if that was not possible? Would the world come to an end if I couldn’t look at my holiday photos from ten years ago? I doubt it. We are apparently exposed to more information in a single hour, than people in 1900 were exposed to in a single year. So it is probably actually impossible to keep up with the flow of information coming to you and also revisit previous information and remain a sane human being.

Though the photos may be irreplaceable, and I cannot re-create them, when lost, surely it is a better idea to just become focused on creating new memories? On having new experiences? That’s where my focus is right now. I have decided that mourning the loss of some digital files is not a good use of my time today. Instead I intend to learn my lesson about backing up, and plan for new and exciting events and experiences this year. And even, I may take less photos. Why? Because sometimes, in this new digital world, we spend more time capturing our lives on digital film than we do actually experiencing the moment. Have you noticed this? You go to a party, and instead of communicating properly with one another, the guests are taking photos of each other, then immediately uploading them to twitter and facebook, with captions about how great a time they’re having, then they spend the rest of the party on those social media platforms, responding to comments about the photo. They’re not actually present in the moment. They’re not fully at the party. I know I am guilty of this, I think anyone with a smartphone is probably guilty of having done this. So perhaps this is the year of spending more real-time with people, and less digital time. We’ll see if I manage to do that.

On another backing up note – if you are a writer, like myself. then you know how important it is to back up your works-in -progress. Last year, while writing The Other Side, my netbook crashed and shut down, and when I re-opened my file, 2000 words of my novel were missing. Not just the scenes I had just written, but some earlier scenes too. Because of the way I write (no plan or plot) I had absolutely no idea what I had lost exactly. There’s no way I could have re-written the scenes. After a minute of absolute panic (and screaming swear words, good thing I live in the middle of the woods), I vaguely remembered that when I downloaded Scrivener, there was some kind of automatic backup system. Using their help feature, I managed to find out where the auto-backups were stored, and there they were – all my lost words. So if you are a writer, and you sometimes get lazy about backing up your work – we all do at times – use Scrivener. It saved me then, and I have no doubt it will probably save me again in the future.

I hope you are having a better day than I have had so far, and now that I have made peace with losing my files, it’s time to get on with some work. Which of course, I will back up 😉

Jan 19 2014

Listen to Your Heart

[youtube http://youtu.be/DnqYxKGRyp8]

Last week I did an Oracle Card reading for a friend who wanted to know whether or not she should continue her University Studies. I reiterated in my video that my oracle card readings, though giving answers to specific questions, are not meant to be taken as professional, legal, or medical advice. They are simply a nudge from the Angels (Faeries or Old Souls) for you to listen to yourself. I figured that if my friend was asking such a question, then she obviously felt like she wasn’t happy doing the course. The question wasn’t so much whether should she leave, it was more – what was holding her back from making the decision? The advice that Velvet gave was to be more creative, to reach for the stars and to listen out for messages in song lyrics. After watching the reading, my friend told me that she had noticed songs the days before, in which the lyrics were telling her to follow her heart. To listen to herself. The day after I posted the reading, she quit her Uni course.

It may seem that she acted too quickly, perhaps rashly, but she had been thinking about leaving for a while, she just didn’t have the courage to face her fears and follow her heart. She felt stifled by the course and longed to be more creative, and knew that ultimately, the job she would get as a result of having the degree was likely to be just as stifling.

It seems to be more difficult now, with all of the demands on our attention and senses, to listen to our hearts. To really get still and hear that small, still voice within. The voice that knows exactly what it is that will bring us the most joy, the most happiness and the most love. Our minds interfere. Our programming cuts in. External stimuli fight for every available moment of our lives. Suddenly, years have passed and we are still doing the thing we dislike, are surrounded by people that we are barely tolerating and in the same financial situation.

So I would like to invite you to take a few moments. Switch everything off or go somewhere where there is nothing to distract you. Get still and quiet, and invite the voice within to speak to you. Ask yourself if you are on the right path. Ask yourself if your current lifestyle brings you joy. And if you know that things need to change, ask yourself what you need to do in order to make those changes happen.

You have within you all the answers you need. But if you do need a little nudge from the Angels, send me your question and who you wish to ask – Velvet, Aria or Amethyst. And with their help, I will try to connect you to the wisdom within you.

Jan 13 2014

You are so intelligent, talented and beautiful!

What went through your mind when you read the post title? Did you laugh? Did you think – ‘Okay, what does she want?’ Did you think, or even say out loud – ‘Don’t be ridiculous.’?

Or did you smile and say – ‘Thank you.’ ?

Just purely from my own experience and observations, most people tend to be in the first camp. (Or is it mainly a British thing?) Because it’s difficult to receive compliments. Usually we brush it off – ‘Oh, don’t be silly, I’m really not that awesome.’ or ‘This old thing? It doesn’t really fit me properly, it looks better on my sister.’ Or we throw the compliment back at the person – ‘You look gorgeous too! Are those new shoes? They’re lovely!’

But have you really considered what you are doing when you are unable to receive and fully accept a compliment? Imagine that the compliments were really gifts, or, if you like, money. If someone gave you £20, for no reason other than they wanted you to have it, would you throw it on the ground? Would you give it back to them immediately? Would you laugh in their face and tell them not to be so ridiculous?

I would hope not.

There are those of us who love to give. We love to make others happy, and we run ourselves ragged trying to please others (many of these people are Incarnated Angels, which I talk a little about in my latest oracle card reading on Youtube) but quite often, amazing givers are terrible at receiving. And they’re even worse at asking for help when they really need it.

Though I am more of an Old Soul than an Angel, Earth Angels in general have this similar problem of being too giving. I find it hard to ask for help, and sometimes even harder to accept it. A while back, I bit the bullet and wrote a blog post asking for help, and as a result of that post, I have developed amazing friendships with people who genuinely want to help me and see me do well. At times, I’ve found it hard to accept their help, but I’ve come to realise, that I’m helping them by receiving the help that they are offering. And when possible, I find ways to help them, so there is a healthy flow back and forth, (but not in a throw it back in their face kind of way.)

In the last couple of weeks, I have been organising a party to end all parties, for my 30th Birthday. Though I already had many of the decorations and things from the previous two Harry Potter themed parties I’ve thrown, there was still a lot more to do, as I am transforming the entire house and parts of outside too. It was a little overwhelming to say the least. Especially with my work schedule and writing my new book etc.

So my amazing friend, Liz Lockwood, and my awesome sister, Liz Gordon, and my fab mother Sally Byrne, all offered their help. At first, I was like – no, no, it’s all fine, I can do it. But after they repeated their offer of help a few more times, I finally said, actually, I really could do with some help. And do you know what? With their amazing creative input, the party is now going to be epic. It’s a team effort now, (along with the help of my partner and his three kids) and I know that everyone (myself included) will have the most amazing time. All because I finally accepted help that was being offered to me.

It’s hard work at first, accepting a compliment with a smile and a ‘thank you’, and accepting the help or the money that is offered. But it’s worth persevering. Because not only are you telling the Universe that you are open to receiving the abundance that is available to you, you are also making others feel good, because they have been able to give to you. And they have been able to make a difference in your life.

So here it is – your first chance to receive and completely accept a compliment:

You are a fabulous person, who has a wonderful, kind heart, and who brings joy to everyone around you.

Let me know how you did 🙂

Jan 7 2014

What Question Would You Ask an Angel?

If you could ask an Angel a question, what would you ask?

The reason I created the Amethyst, Aria and Velvet Oracle cards, was so that my readers could interact with the characters from my books. I’ve been doing Oracle Card of the Day readings on youtube, but it felt too general and a little boring to pick a card for a specific day but with no specific question.

So I am putting a call out to my readers, and indeed anyone with a burning question they would like answered, to send me their question, and who the question is for – Aria the Faerie, Amethyst the Angel or Velvet the Old Soul.

You can watch the video below to see how it works.

[youtube http://youtu.be/NwpI0XisQMA]

Jan 6 2014

Keep the Fire Burning

(The above photo is not of my house, but of the Gryffindor Common Room, taken at the Making of Harry Potter Studios in London. I did have a photo of our fire, but this one looked so much cooler!)

I live in a house where in the winter, our heating and hot water comes from a wood-burning stove. To keep the house warm and the showers hot, it takes a consistent daily effort to light the fire and keep it going throughout the day. And if you can light the fire in the morning with embers from the previous nights’ fire, it takes much less effort to keep it going. If decided one day that I couldn’t be bothered to light the fire, the house would soon grow really cold. After a few days, there would only be cold showers available and a whole lot of shivering. During really cold winters, it would take three days to properly warm up the house after getting the fire going again.

So what does this have to do with anything? Well, I realised yesterday that writing a book is very similar to keeping the house warm. When in the middle of a novel, if I write something every day, I stay in the flow of the story, I can remember what the characters are up to, and each day I might only need to re-read a few lines to re-orientate myself and keep going. The story then remains consistent, and I can get a novel done in a month. But when there are long periods of time between writing, days, weeks, sometimes even months, the story grows cold. I then have to re-read everything, try to remember what was going on and it may take a few days to pick up the thread and continue the story in a way I’m happy with.

So if I know this, why don’t I write every day? After all, all the great writers did. They had a routine that they stuck to, and they would make writing the most important task on their daily agenda. Truth is, I don’t really know why I don’t write every day. When I wrote my first novel, The Earth Angel Training Academy, it was easy to write every day. Of course, I wasn’t working or in a relationship then, so I had no other major distractions. But also, there were no expectations. No one knew who I was, no one had read my work (other than a few English teachers, of course) so I was free to create without worry. Now, with readers waiting for my next published work, there’s a little more pressure. Some people are motivated by this kind of pressure, but as a writer who never knows if her writing is any good until the first person reads the manuscript, it’s more nerve-wracking than motivating!

But perhaps these are just excuses, or self-sabotage. I mean, I could just as easily say that I just haven’t found the right routine, or the right writing chair or the perfect music. Setting crazy deadlines used to be a fantastic motivator, but once you’ve allowed a few to slip by, they lose their potency. I recently came across the method that Seinfeld uses, where you put a cross on the calendar for every day you do the thing you want to do. And the crosses then form a chain. If you don’t write for a day, you ‘break the chain’. I was planning on giving the method a go, after all I figured it couldn’t hurt, but ultimately, I just need to figure out a way to get some words down every day, to keep the story from going cold, and having to start all over again each time I sit down to write.

How do you motivate yourself? What makes you plug away on a daily basis, keeping the fire going? I don’t think there is a magic, one-size-fits-all answer, but I do find it interesting to hear different people’s ways of working. Comment below if you’d like to share yours.

Dec 30 2013

A New Vision for 2014

In less than 30 hours, the new year will have begun. I feel that 2012 was a year of destruction (of old ways, old patterns and old relationships) 2013 was a year of transformation (finding new paths and new ways of being) and 2014, in my mind, is the year of making things happen. Of creating the reality that we actually want to live in.

In order to prepare for a year of making it happen, I feel that it’s important to have a clear vision. The clearer you are about where you want to go, what you want to do and accomplish, the better the reality you will create.

So, to begin with, I have my Vision Board, which I created with my publishing partner and long-time friend – Liz Lockwood.

Creating a vision board (or diary – I did a diary for 2013, and many of the things in there came to fruition, but that’s another blog post!) is very simple. You put pictures, photos, sketches, words etc on a board. Preferably in a place where you will see it often, so as to remind yourself to keep your activities in line with you dreams and goals. My board is currently propped up on my desk. I will probably stick it on the wall next to me. Having photos of yourself on the board is important – so that you are placing yourself in that reality.

The other thing you could do is simply sketch it. You don’t need to be an artist to do this, stick figures are fine. I watched this great TED talk the other day, where a lady called Patti Drobrowolski demonstrates how to do this.

http://youtu.be/A7KRSCyLqc4

This was my attempt at sketching my desired future!

So as you can see, no artistic skills required! But it was good to clarify things, to decide what I wanted.

Tomorrow is Marketing Plan day. and I plan to figure out how to market my books, and how to structure my time more efficiently. Which means that by the time January 1st rolls around, I will have in place everything I need to make things happen in 2014.

What are you going to make happen?